10 Bizarre ’80s Toy Commercials That Wouldn’t Air Today
These strange toy commercials from the 1980s pushed boundaries in ways that wouldn’t pass modern advertising rules for kids.
- Sophia Zapanta
- 4 min read
Toy ads in the 1980s were loud, fast, and often had little to do with the actual toys. Many relied on intense action, exaggerated danger, or strange characters to grab attention. Today, most of these would be rejected for being too violent, confusing, or just not child-friendly.
1. My Buddy Doll Commercial
Chenspec on Wikimedia Commons
This ad featured a singing jingle that repeated “My Buddy” over and over, while a boy dragged the doll everywhere he went. It tried to sell a boy-targeted doll during a time when dolls were usually marketed to girls. Some parents felt uncomfortable with the tone and found the messaging unclear. Today, the overly gendered approach and awkward presentation would likely be seen as outdated.
2. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
Filmation on Wikimedia Commons
The commercial used dramatic battle scenes with toy figures crashing into each other, swords clashing, and characters yelling catchphrases. It portrayed the toys in ultra-violent fantasy scenes that didn’t match how kids actually played. Parents later complained about how intense the ads felt. Current guidelines would require calmer, more realistic depictions of play.
3. Creepy Crawlers “Thingmaker” Reboot
Berry Prince on Wikimedia Commons
This toy involved heating liquid plastic in metal molds to make bugs and monsters. The commercial showed close-up shots of kids using the device unsupervised, emphasizing the “gross” and “dangerous” factor. Today, that kind of heat-based toy would need clear safety disclaimers or wouldn’t be allowed at all.
4. Stretch Armstrong
Alex Beattie on Wikimedia Commons
The original Stretch Armstrong commercial showed kids pulling the toy’s limbs to unnatural lengths, with intense focus on the toy’s skin stretching and snapping back. While meant to highlight durability, the visuals and tone felt weirdly clinical and disturbing to some viewers. Today, ads would likely tone down the extreme visuals and add clear warnings about over-stretching or damaging the toy.
5. Madballs Commercial
Pepsiman1985 on Wikimedia Commons
These were rubber balls shaped like gross, exaggerated monster faces. The commercial had strange sound effects, distorted voices, and nonstop zoom-ins on the toys’ bizarre features. It leaned heavily into shock value and weirdness. Today’s ads tend to avoid showing toys in disturbing or overly grotesque ways.
6. Jarts (Lawn Darts) for Kids
Jasonbook99 on Wikimedia Commons
Jarts were metal-tipped lawn darts that kids were shown throwing across yards. The commercial treated them like fun summer toys, with no mention of the danger. They were later banned after causing serious injuries. Ads like that wouldn’t be allowed now under current product safety laws.
7. G.I. Joe with Battle Sounds
Hasbro on Wikimedia Commons
The ad blasted rapid gunfire sound effects, explosions, and shouts as kids smashed action figures into each other. It used loud, aggressive music and camera cuts to simulate war. The tone was intense and barely focused on the product’s features. Today, toy ads avoid glamorizing military combat in such a direct way.
8. Krusher Monster Truck Toy
Ignoranceisnotbliss on Wikimedia Commons
The Krusher was a remote-controlled monster truck that could inflate and “crush” obstacles. The commercial showed it smashing through toy buildings and plowing over other figures while rock music blared in the background. It encouraged destruction-focused play in an aggressive way. Ads like this today would face scrutiny for promoting destructive behavior without context or safety messaging.
9. Slime Time Toy Sets (Various Brands)
Flying Cloud on Wikimedia Commons
Commercials for slime-themed toys often leaned into grotesque visuals, showing kids pouring green goo over figures, dolls, or entire playsets. These ads were loud, chaotic, and obsessed with the “gross factor.” While slime is still popular, modern advertising avoids this kind of exaggerated mess and bodily implication. The hygiene concerns alone would raise red flags today.
10. Cabbage Patch Kids – “Adoption” Commercials
Appalachian Artworks, Inc on Wikimedia Commons
The Cabbage Patch Kids commercials famously showed kids “adopting” their dolls from whimsical cabbage patches, with emotional music and heartfelt narration. However, the ads often pushed the dolls as must-have collectibles, sparking intense “buy or miss out” frenzy among parents and children alike. The commercials sometimes felt overly dramatic for a children’s toy, emphasizing scarcity and competition instead of play.