10 Mistakes Parents Fear Making & 10 Ways Imperfect Parenting Builds Resilience
In the parenting journey, the mistakes parents are afraid to commit are often the factors that make their children wiser and more potent.
- Sophia Zapanta
- 5 min read
Becoming a parent is an adventure that comes with so many hopes, dreams, and of course, a fear of failure. Still, the very mistakes parents fear the most, can—however, result in surprising inner strength in their children. Acceptance of imperfection may just be the solution to bringing up flexible, loving, and tough-minded children.
1. Not Being Present Enough
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Most parents worry that they don’t spend enough time with their children, thinking their children will feel less loved or emotionally neglected. This anxiety is often intensified by the anxiety associated with missing out on important events that contribute to the child’s sense of belonging and security.
2. Being Too Strict or Too Lenient
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It’s not easy to balance discipline and freedom, and parents tend to be strict or too lenient regarding some issues. The parents believe there should be a limit to encouraging their child’s independence; otherwise, there’s a risk that the child will become too free and make bad decisions.
3. Not Shielding Them From Failure
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Most parents don’t wish their children to suffer loss or hardship, so they try their best to prevent such incidences. They worry about things like, “Am I preparing this child for the world out there?"
4. Putting Too Hard For Success
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The parents are worried that a child being too pushed to meet the expectations may lead to irritability, poor relations, or even burnout. They are also concerned about the fact that there exists a thin line between encouragement and excessive pressure.
5. Showing Emotions Too Much
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Parents tend to be frightened that their expressions of stress, anger, or disappointment will influence their children’s development. They worry that if they show their feelings toward their children, the children will develop feelings of insecurity.
6. Placing Less Importance on the Child’s Happiness
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In other instances, they would want to instill some responsibility in their children, but they feel this comes at a cost to their freedom. There’s a risk that focusing on important values and lessons will suppress their child’s true spirit and contentment.
7. Letting Technology Take Over
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Given that screens are virtually everywhere, parents are worried about how screens will affect their children’s socialization and mental development. The concern is that technology could hinder a child’s development of healthy social skills if left unchecked.
8. Failing to Address Behavioral Issues
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When not given attention, anger outbursts or disruptive behaviors give parents a feeling that they are ‘standing back’ while raising a well-behaved child. They’re anxious that if they don’t take action quickly, bad habits learned will be hard to unlearn later.
9. Failing to Instill Good Habits Early On
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Parents worry that failing to teach these lessons on time will affect their child’s development if they eat healthy, have proper hygiene, and practice good sleeping habits. There’s often a concern that not instilling these values in their formative years will lead to poor habits in life.
10. Not Leading by Example
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Therefore, it becomes very hard for parents not to worry that their poor behavior will ruin their kids’ good behavior practices. They fear that their child may learn bad behaviors by just watching.
Surprisingly, many of these so-called “mistakes” teach children children with essential life skills. Here’s how imperfect parenting can be a surprising gift.
1. Teaches Independence
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When parents aren’t present, children learn to depend on themselves. This enables children to grow in age and take charge of some activities without seeking anyone’s help.
2. Promotes Adaptability
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Kids are taught balance because those who are not too punitive or permissive know how to handle excesses. Because of such balance, they can settle in new places and even tackle new situations and challenges without much of a problem.
3. Embraces Defeat
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When children learn to play and lose, they quickly understand that to accomplish things in life, it’s normal for one to experience trouble. This teaches them how to be strong in the face of impending problems.
4. Normalizes Emotional Honesty
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Parents who outwardly display emotions teach children to accept emotions as they are and even seek help when necessary. This encourages healthy psychological development and brings the family closer.
5. Encourages Personal Motivation
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Not putting pressure on children teaches them to pursue what they love because they want it for themselves and not just to meet other people’s expectations. This drive within them may result in more productive victories and confidence.
6. Builds Responsibility Through Real-Life Consequences
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In cases where parents emphasize skills and not doing things perfectly, children begin to take responsibility and appreciate the value of decisions. They begin to understand that certain behaviors yield reactions, which helps them to be responsible human beings.
7. Prioritizes Self-Compassion Over Perfectionism
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In not constantly pushing for joy, parents show their kids that life is not chasing after pleasures but facing the highs and lows alongside self-kindness. This type of attitude lowers the bar for children’s expectations of themselves and assists them in finding that sense of calm.
8. Encourages Social and Digital Balance
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With guidance on technology, children can avoid the most common modern digital distractions while nurturing relationships. They understand the need to balance online and face-to-face interactions, promoting social etiquette.
9. Strengthens Self-Control and Empathy
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Patience-based strategies for solving behavior issues enable a child to regulate behavior and understand what other people feel. This teaches such children about relationships, emotional pain, and how to best interact with their friends without causing conflict.
10. Instills Value of Growth and Learning
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When parents recognize imperfections in their character and try to improve themselves, children learn the importance of development. This mentally inspires their desire to learn growing up and helps them see issues as ways of improving.