10 Misunderstandings About Love Languages & 10 Ways They Transform Relationships
Let's clarify the 10 common misconceptions about the 5 love languages and discover the 10 ways they can positively change relationships.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 7 min read
Love was never easy to understand; it’s a language that constantly evolves. This is why there are at least 10 common misunderstandings about love languages. So before you try to speak to your partner’s heart, it’s best to clear the misconceptions first. Find out what they are and discover the 10 great things the correct love language can do for your relationship.
1. It takes time to master your partner’s love language
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Love is never easy, and it’s more difficult when you master the language of your partner’s heart. You can treat it the same way as learning a foreign language; you must start from scratch and carefully study each letter until you can slowly master it. That’s why knowing your partner’s love language isn’t always enough; you must also study to the fullest.
2. Gifts don’t have to be too expensive
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Any gift can be worth a million if you know how to pick the right one for your partner. That’s why it doesn’t have to be rare, expensive, or anything that can be too extreme. You could even pluck flowers outside and create your bouquet; if your partner knows it came from the heart, you’re already giving them the best gifts.
3. Expecting to have the same love language
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There are five primary love languages for a reason; you should avoid expecting your partner to have the same one as you do. After all, everyone has different ways of showing and receiving love. So, instead of assuming or unthinkingly guessing your partner’s love language, you can ask them directly.
4. It’s okay to tell your partner how you want to be reassured
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If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, they may expect you always to know the right words to tell them. However, this is a common misconception about love language, and it should be cleared up quickly. After all, you can’t read what’s on their mind; that’s why expressing what they want to hear is okay so you can deliver it to them without question.
5. Physical touch doesn’t always translate to physical intimacy
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Many people expect “physical touch” to always lead to physical intimacy. Unfortunately, this is a profoundly wrong assumption, which can make your partner feel misunderstood. Physical touch can be simple gestures such as cuddling, holding hands, quick kisses, leaning on each other, and caressing each other.
6. Spending quality time doesn’t need to be grand
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Some believe “quality time” translates to “high-quality experience.” Quality time is all about bonding together and having moments where you can connect on a deep, emotional level. It isn’t always about going on expensive dates or trips or doing grand adventures together; instead, it’s simply about genuinely bonding.
7. There’s no limit to how many love languages you can have
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Choosing a love language isn’t like setting personality traits in a video game where you might be stuck with just one forever. In reality, you can have as many love languages as you want and try to master the five languages if you also can. Just as loving someone has no limits, the same can be said for how you prefer to show and receive love.
8. Giving and receiving love can be different
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How you show love can differ from how you want to be loved, and that’s okay. Love languages don’t have those strict rules that you have to follow. For example, say you express love through quality time but don’t necessarily need to accept love through physical touch; this shows that you can freely set your wants and needs without “breaking” any love language standards.
9. Acts of service are done unconditionally
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If you say that “acts of service” is your way of expressing love, yet you do it while expecting something in return, then you’re not expressing love; instead, you’re doing favors in hopes that the other person will reciprocate. You see, acts of service should be done unconditionally, not to make your partner feel indebted to you. While it’s normal to have expectations, wanting “repayment” for your service isn’t the right way to speak this love language.
10. Love languages can change
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As you grow as partners and individuals, your love languages can also change. This isn’t permanent; it’s also prone to being influenced by the changes in your life. That’s why being fluent in any love language is handy; you never know when your or your partner’s preferences might change.
Knowing these misconceptions, it’s time to understand how these love languages can transform your relationship entirely. Find out the 10 ways below.
1. It improves your patience and understanding
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When you’re willing to master each other’s love languages, your patience and understanding will naturally evolve, too. On top of that, it can deepen your emotional intelligence because of how well you try to understand your partner. The more patience and understanding you have, the less conflict you’ll have in the future.
2. Encourages you to be a good listener
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You’d have to be an excellent listener to master love languages, too. After all, you’ll have to pay close attention to determine what your partner wants, what they like, and what they hope to see in your relationship. It’s also a bonus when you want to find a gift for your partner; you’ll have plenty of options to show that you weren’t lazily picking an expensive gift to satisfy their needs.
3. Creates a deeper connection
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When you know how to speak your partner’s love language, forming a more profound connection in your relationship becomes more accessible. This means your trust will strengthen, and you’ll find comfort as a couple. The deeper your connection is, the better chance your love will last.
4. Improves the quality of your communication
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As you both embrace the power of love languages, your communication will grow steadier, too. That’s because you feel safe opening up to each other, knowing that your partner is willing to meet your needs just as you are willing to meet theirs. This quality is essential to having a long-lasting relationship.
5. Your relationship won’t depend on physical intimacy
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Once you understand that physical touch doesn’t always mean physical intimacy, your relationship will find ways to strengthen your love without relying on it. After all, being physically intimate isn’t what relationships are all about. You’d still have to understand your partner’s needs outside the bedroom, making love languages essential.
6. Teaches you to appreciate the little things
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Mastering the art of quality time also involves learning how to appreciate the little things. For example, you could spend time together at home, watching movies you love while eating your favorite snacks and still feeling satisfied. That’s one good example of how quality time can make your heart feel full, even in simple ways.
7. You’ll discover more options to express love
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The moment you accept that you can have as many love languages as you want, your mind becomes more open to other options; put, it broadens your perspective in giving and receiving love. Thanks to this, you can consider what you need or what works best for you and your partner.
8. Shows the value of putting in the right effort
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Since giving and receiving love can come in different ways, you’ll have to try to understand your and your partner’s love languages thoroughly. That’s why this teaches you how effort is essential to your relationship. As you become aware of each other’s efforts, you can better appreciate each other in love.
9. You won’t take your relationship for granted
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Love languages teach you to be grateful for everything your partner does for you or vice versa. Thanks to this, you no longer have to worry about being taken for granted, as you both know what you do for the sake of love. Gratitude goes a long way in relationships, and that makes every effort count; this is something that love languages will teach you.
10. Motivates you to embrace changes positively
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Knowing that anyone’s love language can change eventually, you’ll both know you should be prepared for that scenario. This creates a positive outlook on embracing change, which could further strengthen your relationship. Instead of viewing it as another obstacle, you’ll consider it a good sign of growth in your romantic life.