10 Problems with Passive Communication & 10 Powers of Speaking Up
Find out why silence isn't always golden and why you should start speaking up.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 6 min read
They say that silence can bring peace. But there are also cases where silence is no longer golden. That is the primary concern with passive communication, especially in relationships. Let’s find out the top 10 problems it can bring and 10 powerful reasons to break your silence.
1. Your needs won’t be met
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Passive communicators will often set their feelings aside even if it means their needs won’t be met. This could cause poor mental health and low self-esteem. Other than neglecting themselves, this problem can also negatively affect their relationships in the long run.
2. Developing unrealistic expectations
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You may unconsciously try to cope by developing unrealistic expectations when you can’t communicate. For example, your thoughts might be, “They should know why I’m upset,” or “They’ll understand me eventually.” These negative thoughts may disappoint you because the people around you can’t read your mind, so you need to communicate.
3. Your boundaries will be breached
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Discovering someone’s boundaries by observing their actions or studying their personalities is hard. That’s why boundaries have to be stated clearly to prevent misunderstandings. But as long as you’re a passive communicator, people in your life may unknowingly overstep your boundaries.
4. Bottling up your emotions
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It’s never healthy to bottle up your emotions; other than hurting yourself, you may end up lashing out at someone once you reach your limit. This happens because passive communication prevents you from fully expressing your feelings. As long as you don’t change, you’ll keep isolating yourself because you can never truly open up to others.
5. Passive aggression
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Passive communicators are more likely to have passive-aggressive tendencies. Since they can’t verbalize their thoughts, their emotions find a way to expose themselves through body language. This means they’re easily annoyed, lash out quickly, short-tempered, or prone to giving someone the cold shoulder.
6. Losing your individuality
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Constantly repressing yourself and your needs may leave you feeling insignificant. This may cause you to change yourself or hide in a shell to throw away your personality. This is why passive communication is destructive to everyone involved and should be stopped before you completely lose yourself.
7. People will disregard your value
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How others view you is also heavily influenced by how well you treat yourself. If you’re unable to defend yourself or you always cast yourself aside, no one will see your actual value at all. That’s why you must put yourself out there before others can hear and listen to your voice.
8. Promotes power imbalance
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As the saying goes, silence makes you an ally of oppressors; this implies that your passive communication encourages abusive people not to change themselves. If no one voices the problem, then nothing will change at all. So, if you don’t want to promote a power imbalance, it’s time to learn how to stand up for yourself by speaking up.
9. It can make conflict worse
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Conflict usually doesn’t go away on its own; if anything, avoiding it can even make things much worse. Passive communicators only realize this when it’s already too late, and in the end, they’ll regret not speaking up sooner.
10. Your relationship won’t grow
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Communication is vital to any relationship; after all, no one is capable of reading minds or blindly guessing your thoughts. Your relationship will only struggle as long as you don’t learn how to communicate properly. The worst-case scenario is that your partner may grow tired of your poor communication skills, which may end your relationship.
Before it reaches that breaking point, find out the ten powerful advantages of speaking up.
1. You can communicate your needs
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Communicating your needs feels like freedom; you’ve gotten out of your cage and can now finally tell someone what you truly want. Not only is this refreshing for your peace of mind, but it also teaches the people around you how they can fulfill your needs.
2. You avoid disappointments
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Speaking up dismisses all the unrealistic expectations you might have of other people. It saves you from countless disappointments and sets the people in your life free from pressure. It helps you stay grounded in reality while maintaining healthy communication with your loved ones.
3. They’ll be aware of your boundaries
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You won’t be the only one happy to speak up about your boundaries. Your loved ones will be proud of you for finally being clear about them. That’s because you’re teaching them the right way to love and respect you; this is a huge step to strengthening your connections.
4. Your emotions will become more stable
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Silencing yourself causes your emotions to fluctuate. But once you speak up, you’ll give yourself peace of mind and the satisfaction of standing up for yourself. Your emotions will grow healthier and more stable than ever because you no longer suppress them.
5. You can enjoy calm discussions
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Passive communicators are often cornered into uncomfortable confrontations, but you won’t have to deal with that once you learn how to speak up. Instead of being forced into a discussion, you’ll be ready to face your thoughts and address your concerns. At the same time, an emotionally mature person will be happy to sit down and calmly converse with you.
6. You’ll stay in touch with your identity
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By speaking up for yourself, you’re also protecting your identity. You no longer have to hide parts of yourself to avoid judgment or conflict. You can now fully embrace yourself and adequately care for your individuality.
7. People will see your value
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Treating yourself kindly involves speaking up for yourself. When others can see you defending your opinions, speaking your mind, and freely expressing your thoughts, they’ll start seeing your value, too. That’s one of the powerful benefits of having the confidence to speak for yourself.
8. Creates balance in your relationships
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You’ll stop letting other people walk over you when you know how to speak up. This eradicates the possibility of having power imbalances in your relationships. Instead, you’ll create balance once you properly communicate your boundaries, and the right people will respect you.
9. Resolve conflict productively
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By speaking up, you can turn conflict into something positive. If you no longer fear having proper discussions, you won’t shy away from confronting the problem and have the confidence to suggest solutions. This means you’ll be taking advantage of conflict by using it as a chance to grow or improve your relationships.
10. Your relationship will become happier
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One-sided relationships are bound to turn toxic, so if there’s only one person in charge and the other is only passively communicating, expect nothing good to come out of it. That said, speaking up will create many opportunities for you and your partner to understand each other, making your relationship healthier. After all, you’ll finally stand on equal ground and meet each other eye-to-eye.