10 Relationship Expectations to Release & 10 Realities to Embrace
Discover the harsh truths in love to let go of unrealistic expectations.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 7 min read
Everyone has different standards in love, and that’s why they also have various expectations related to it. However, some expectations can be out of touch with reality and may set you up for disappointment. So, how can you tell if your expectations are reasonable or not? Read these 10 unhealthy relationship expectations you must release and start embracing these 10 realities about love.
1. Relying too much on your partner
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A common expectation in relationships is that you can always count on your partner, no matter when or where. This creates an unfair standard that pressures your partner even if they don’t admit it. It’s time to let go of this expectation before you add too much burden on each other.
2. Spending time together at all times
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Most couples look forward to being together all the time or doing every activity with each other. As ideal as that sounds, it’s impossible, especially when you have different responsibilities. Moreover, keeping yourselves tied to each other 24/7 could leave you suffocated; that’s why this expectation has to be released.
3. Fulfilling goals flawlessly
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Having your goals and dreams as a couple is a healthy sign of wanting to grow together. However, preparing yourself for bumps in the road would be best because not every plan goes perfectly. Letting go of this expectation will help your relationship have a smoother sail ahead.
4. Getting your way at all times
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When you’re in love, your partner may spoil you by letting you always get your way. While this looks cute initially, you’ll eventually have to let go of this standard. Otherwise, you’ll set your relationship up for disappointment if your partner can’t always provide what you want.
5. Assuming their expectations
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No one can be a mind reader, and that’s why you simply can’t assume your partner’s expectations either. You might think you’re already doing everything you can, but you’ll be surprised if your partner has different expectations from you. This is why you should learn to communicate instead of clinging to these relationship expectations.
6. Expecting things in return
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The quickest way to disappoint yourself is to expect things in return. You may wonder why your partner can’t do the same thing for you and start questioning if they love you as much as you love them. This habit can turn toxic, and you’ll build bitterness in your heart if you don’t let go of this expectation.
7. Letting your partner guess your feelings
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“If they wanted to, they will.” This is a common expectation in relationships that also leaves you disappointed. Your partner won’t understand your feelings or figure out what you need unless you tell them about it. No one likes to play mind games, so ignore this unhealthy expectation.
8. Communicating boundaries
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“They should have known because this is just common sense” — another common expectation in relationships that will end up hurting both of you. Once again, your partner isn’t a mind reader; you should tell them about your boundaries verbally instead. You may have different limitations, but now is the time to discuss them properly.
9. Expecting immediate change
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Some couples think their partners will change immediately after communicating once. While avoiding the same problems is best, you must give it time and patience unless the issue needs immediate change. For example, you might want your partner to drop their old lifestyle and change their personality for you; those are enormous demands that will take time before you can fully see the difference.
10. Feeling entitled to your partner
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Expectations in relationships might invite a sense of entitlement. “I did this for them, so I deserve the same treatment or maybe even more,” — that’s a classic example of feeling entitled to your partner. Keeping this up will only harm your relationship in the long run because you’ll end up holding grudges, which isn’t even your partner’s fault.
With all these harmful relationship expectations, you’re better off embracing the realities instead. Here are the 10 truths in relationships that every couple has to accept.
1. It’s a team effort
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It takes two to tango; that’s why a relationship requires both of you to put in the effort. Otherwise, you won’t last long. One of you can’t be the only person moving all the time, you have to be proactive too. Being too passive in a relationship will inevitably cause the flames of love to burn out sooner than expected.
2. Conflict can’t be avoided
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Whether you like it or not, you’re bound to face conflict along the way. Your relationship grows, and you’ll slowly change as individuals. The sooner you accept this truth, the easier you can prepare your emotions for future conflict.
3. It’s not always fun and games
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There will be idle times in your relationship, and both of you might find this stage boring. Here’s the reality: the longer you stay together, the more it might feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. This is the part where you’ll discover how committed you are to each other, so you better brace this reality as soon as possible.
4. Your partner can’t fix your insecurities
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Too many people jump into relationships thinking they can fix each other or expect their partners to fix them. Unfortunately, this isn’t the reality; no one can fix your insecurities but yourself. Your partner may be able to help, but the final push should still come from you.
5. Love isn’t always enough to make things work
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Couples who are new to love or hopeless romantics may think that love prevails no matter what. But life isn’t like romance novels or love story films; the harsh truth is that love is not always enough. If you’re both miserable in life or hurt each other, you can’t stay together no matter how much love you have for each other.
6. You’re bound to discover your differences
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There’s no such thing as a perfect match; the longer you stay in your relationship, the more you’ll discover your differences. You might slowly realize that you have many qualities that make you incompatible. When you face this reality, your love and commitment to each other will be tested.
7. Change is inevitable
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You may not notice it, but you’re also changing throughout the years. So whether you like it or not, your relationship will slowly be affected by those changes, too. It’s proof that you’re both growing as individuals and your life isn’t staying in the same place; that’s why you must prepare to face this reality as soon as possible.
8. Sacrifices are necessary at some point
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The more serious your relationship gets, the more likely you’ll have to make sacrifices sooner or later, no matter how big or small it might be. That’s because life isn’t as perfect as in movies, and you’ll encounter problems. To ensure your relationship lasts, you must prepare for this possibility when the time comes and consider your options.
9. There will be a power imbalance
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No matter how hard you try to maintain balance in your relationship, changes are bound to affect that balance as time passes. One day, you’re the one in charge, and the next day, your partner is taking the lead again. Creating balance isn’t the only challenging truth; it’s also about what you do as a couple to survive those power imbalances.
10. You’re bound to hurt each other
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Whether you mean it or not, being in a relationship means you’re bound to hurt each other. But that’s the reality; love is meant to hurt at some point; otherwise, it’s not really love. That’s the beauty of romance; it’s not always just sunshine and rainbows; there will be times when you also have to survive the storm together to come out even stronger as a couple.