10 Relationship Habits That Hold You Back & 10 Changes That Set You Free

Love can make you feel all sorts of things… including feeling stuck together. By having unhealthy habits, you may unknowingly chain yourself in your relationship and struggle to find growth. But what are these bad habits? Discover the 10 alarming habits that can hold you back and the 10 helpful changes that can set you free.

1. Jealousy and insecurities

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Jealousy is normal in relationships, but not when it’s starting to hold you back. This implies jealousy or insecurities may stop your partner from socializing, meeting people, or pursuing their goals. In exchange, you’ll also be stuck in the same place if you’re constantly worried that your partner may cheat on you.

2. Shouldering the financial burden

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When you always offer to pay the bills and everything else, you’ll set aside your needs. For example, you no longer invest in your hobbies, passions, interests, and other personal goals. This could happen no matter how much your salary is. 

3. Having unrealistic expectations

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While having high standards in relationships is okay, having unrealistic expectations is not. This will only frustrate you and may cause you to feel resentment toward your partner, even though they haven’t done anything wrong. 

4. Sacrificing too much

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Comprising is essential to make your relationship grow, but what will be left of you if you end up sacrificing too much all the time? You’ll keep giving until there’s nothing left but an empty shell. With this, you’ll never be able to move forward, and the person you’re sacrificing for may even leave you behind to free you from the burden.

5. Being overly dependent

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It’s easy to get lost in your partner’s world when you’re deeply in love, but this can freeze you on the spot the moment you become too dependent on them. This means you’ll stop existing outside of your relationship, no longer meet your friends or do your hobbies, or you can’t stay in touch with your individuality. Other than holding yourself back, you’ll also suffocate your partner in the long run.

6. Poor listening skills

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Making your partner feel seen and heard is essential to a happy relationship. But if you’re unable to listen properly, your relationship may not be able to move forward. That’s because you won’t notice what your partner does or the concerns they try to bring up, leaving you unable to change.

7. Wanting to change your partner’s identity

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Relationships won’t grow if one of you is unsatisfied with your partner. However, wanting to change your partner’s identity to mold them into your ideal lover is wrong. If your partner isn’t doing anything terrible yet, you pressure them to change for your sake, and you’ll never grow. 

8. Not showing enough gratitude

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You may forget to express your gratitude because you are too busy with other things, have too much pride, or feel entitled to what your partner does for you. Even though this may seem like a small matter, don’t underestimate the value of gratitude. Without it, your partner may feel unappreciated, and your relationship won’t be able to grow.

9. Avoiding conflict

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Running away from confrontations won’t solve anything in your relationship. If anything, it can only make things much worse. As long as you’re unwilling to face conflict and address your relationship issues, you’ll always be held back by these problems.

10. Envy or comparison

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Once in a while, you may come across stories or online posts about other people’s perfect relationships. This may cause you to develop feelings of envy, which may lead to comparing your relationship with others. This unhealthy habit will trap you in a box of expectations that will ruin your relationship in the long run.

Rather than waiting for a miracle, start pursuing these ten healthy changes to set you free and improve your relationship.

1. Working on your self-esteem

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The first step to avoid trust issues, jealousy, and relationship insecurities is to work on your self-esteem. Don’t always rely on your partner to fix your problems; you have to achieve this by yourself. So start rebuilding your confidence, regain your identity, try new things, spend time alone, or do any activity that can uplift yourself.

2. Balancing the relationship responsibilities

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Unburden yourself by finding balance in your relationship responsibilities. You can tell your partner that you’ll no longer cover all the bills or expect them to help equally with household chores. Once you have a fair agreement, a lot of weight will be taken off your shoulders, which could also lead to positive changes in your relationship.

3. Practicing healthy communication

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It’s time to stop isolating or stonewalling whenever your relationship has a problem. Instead, you should practice healthy communication. Start by reaching out to your partner and calmly telling them your troubles or asking what bothers them. Healthy communication will help you move forward by getting rid of all the obstacles in your way.

4. Learn to set your own boundaries

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Start setting your boundaries to avoid compromising too much in your relationship. This is how you can tell your partner how to treat you properly, what they can expect from you, and how they should support you to make your relationship work. Your boundaries will protect your relationship from becoming toxic, and that’s why couples need to be clear about this topic.

5. Reconnect with your individuality

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One of the biggest reasons you feel stuck is because you’ve lost sight of yourself; this happens when your romantic life too consumes you. That’s why it’s time to reconnect with yourself, spend time alone, relax in nature, pick up your old hobbies, meet up with your friends, or visit your family. With so many ways to regain your identity, make sure you never lose yourself again in the name of love, and your partner will appreciate you for that.

6. Paying more attention to your partner

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Paying more attention will ensure that you never miss out on the things that matter in your relationship. This means listening closely and observing what they do; this may open your eyes to the little things you might have taken for granted. By showing your partner that you care enough to listen attentively, your relationship will grow healthier than ever, which can make both of you feel free. 

7. Accepting your partner for who they are

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As long as your partner isn’t abusive or doing anything unhealthy for your relationship, it’s time to accept them for who they are. If you keep pressuring your partner to change, you’ll only end up hurting each other due to selfish standards. Set your relationship free by appreciating what you already have and strive to grow as a couple. 

8. Express your gratitude

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Remember to say “thank you” whenever your partner does something, no matter how small or big the action may be. Gratitude is vital to keeping your relationship strong; it lets your partner know that they’re not being taken for granted. At the same time, you can let go of your pride or other factors that may hold you back from expressing gratitude.

9. Learn to handle conflict

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It’s time to stop running away from conflict. Prepare to keep your emotions in check and sit down for a proper conversation with your partner. By setting your relationship free from unresolved issues, resentment, and grudges, you can move forward as a couple.

10. Embrace your relationship as it is

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The remedy to envy is acceptance or contentment; you’ll let go of your comparisons with other couples by accepting your relationship. Remember that not everything you see or hear is the whole story or picture; most people will only tell you about the good parts. After all, every relationship has its flaws, so embrace this truth and be ready to move forward with your partner.

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• relationship
• Changes
• Habits
• Dating
• Couple