10 Signs You're Growing Apart & 10 Ways to Grow Together Instead

Change is inevitable, and sometimes it can bring good things to relationships. But when change causes you to drift apart, the growing distance can be unbearably uncomfortable or even painful. This can happen silently, and it’s hard to notice at first. Start paying attention to these 10 painful signs that you’re growing apart and practice these 10 practical ways to grow together instead.

1. Feeling emotionally disconnected

cottonbro studio on Pexels

The quickest way to tell you’re growing apart is when you both feel emotionally disconnected. This implies that you can’t understand each other’s feelings, why they’re behaving the way they do, and you can’t even try to guess what’s on their mind anymore. Even when you’re together, you feel alone because the connection no longer exists.

2. Having more trust issues

Gustavo Fring on Pexels

Growing apart inevitably affects your trust levels, too. The more you fail to understand each other, the less trust you’ll have. This may cause you to keep doubting each other’s words and constantly think negatively about your intentions.

3. Communication no longer works

cottonbro studio on Pexels

No matter how hard you try to reach out and close the distance, it feels like your partner is no longer within your reach. It’s almost like you’re talking to a wall, and it doesn’t care about your voice. Regardless of how well you communicate, a stubborn heart is barricaded with layers of defense that make it more challenging for you to break through.

4. Lack of support

RDNE Stock project on Pexels

Loving someone turns you into their biggest fan. So, if you’re growing apart, you may stop showing the same level of support as before. They may no longer show up during your times of need or won’t bother to put in the same effort they always used to cheer you on back then.

5. There are no more arguments

Klaus Nielsen on Pexels

Some may say it’s a good thing you don’t fight with your partner anymore, but the truth is that having no arguments can be a red flag. Usually, you’ll argue over things that concern your relationship because you both want to fix it and make things better. So, if you’re no longer arguing, it shows that you both stopped caring about your concerns, and neither of you has the desire to grow together anymore.

6. You don’t spend time together anymore

cottonbro studio on Pexels

Couples who grow apart may lose interest in spending time together. They’ll always have excuses to be away from you or constantly avoid the chance of being together. If you stop reaching out, you’ll barely hear from them since they never try to ask you for your time, too.

7. The intimacy isn’t the same

Kampus Production on Pexels

Even if you spend time together, none of you feel satisfied. Your emotional or physical intimacy doesn’t even make you feel anything anymore. It’s the same as spending time with no one because you’ve become invisible to each other.

8. You both feel like strangers to each other

Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels

Growing apart also makes you realize each other’s differences and how much they change in your relationship. You may constantly think you’ve become strangers since you barely know each other anymore. While change is inevitable, a healthy couple can embrace it positively, but if you’re growing apart, those changes will only leave you both feeling lonely.

9. Avoiding any deep conversations

Alena Darmel on Pexels

When couples grow apart, they may stop having deep conversations, too; this involves discussing their future or other serious topics related to their relationship. This implies that they’re no longer sure about sharing their deepest thoughts, and they’d rather shut down this kind of conversation right away. 

10. You prioritize different goals and values

Alex Green on Pexels

You may feel like your relationship can survive the stage of growing apart, especially when it seems that you’re both still trying to make things work. But once your goals and values have become different, it becomes harder to fight the growing distance between you. Prioritizing individual goals may push you further away from each other.

Before your relationship collapses, find the ten best ways to grow together.

1. Proper communication

Timur Weber on Pexels

Communication won’t work by itself; it should come from both sides. So before you talk to your partner, please encourage them to open up to you and discuss your honest thoughts. Once they agree, you’ll accomplish the first step of appropriately communicating with your partner, which is a great start.

2. Face your problems together

Alex Green on Pexels

Please don’t run away from conflict and encourage your partner to do the same; instead of avoiding having arguments, invite them to sit down and face your problems together. By addressing each other’s concerns, you’ll discover what went wrong and what made you drift apart. After that, both of you can finally come up with solutions for growing together once more.

3. Show gratitude and respect

Alex Green on Pexels

You can also start by emphasizing the small things in your relationship. This means you should make it a habit to express your gratitude, say “thank you,” and tell your partner you appreciate them for everything they do. This also reminds them how much you respect them, which they may have forgotten when you were growing apart.

4. Learn how to apologize

Timur Weber on Pexels

It’s easy to grow distant when no one gets the apology they deserve. Now is the time to make amends and acknowledge each other’s faults; make this an opportunity to apologize from the bottom of your hearts properly. By conveying your regrets and willingness to do better for your relationship, you’re taking the first steps to grow together again.

5. Spend quality time together

Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels

Couples grow apart when they don’t spend enough quality time together. This is your sign to plan a meaningful date with your partner; nothing too grand or expensive. You could revisit your favorite places and hang out while doing activities you both enjoy or sharing your favorite food. Just take a moment to reconnect with each other. 

6. Discover each other’s love language

Ron Lach on Pexels

Learning each other’s love language is the best way to speak to your partner’s heart. But this isn’t something you can figure out alone; you’re better off asking your partner directly about it. Once you talk about this, you’ll know how your partner wants to be loved and show love, which will help you grow closer together.

7. Try new things together

Artem Podrez on Pexels

No matter how long you’ve been together, the “dating” stage should never stop. Don’t be afraid to try new things together, like visiting places you’ve never been to or picking up new skills you’re both interested in. There are so many options to try, giving your relationship many chances to grow together again.

8. Be true to each other

Julion Santos on Pexels

Growing apart may make you afraid to show your true selves to each other, but that will only cause you to drift away from each other. No matter how much you’ve changed, it’s best to show who you are and let your partner slowly embrace you and vice versa. This will rebuild the trust you have in each other and bring you closer again.

9. Don’t hold back from expressing love

Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels

Don’t listen to the popular dating advice of being “nonchalant” towards your partner. This means you believe your partner will love you less the more you show your love for them. Instead, love your partner loud and proud. Keep expressing your feelings for them verbally and through actions. This will make your partner feel the spark again, creating positive growth in your relationship.

10. Give each other enough space

Timur Weber on Pexels

Growing apart may cause you to cling to your partner, holding them tighter so they won’t get away. While this is expected, it’s not the best solution, as you might end up suffocating each other. To make room for growth, you should give each other enough space; when you’re both ready, you can grow together again.

• Tags:
• love
• Relationships
• Growth
• Changes
• Dating