10 Sports Contracts So Wild They Seem Fake
Some sports contracts are so ridiculous they sound like they came from a comedy sketch rather than real life.
- Sophia Zapanta
- 4 min read
Athletes sign massive contracts, but sometimes the details are beyond belief. From bizarre perks to lifetime payouts, some deals seem too wild to be real. These 10 contracts prove that in the world of sports, money isn’t just about salaries—it’s about creativity, loopholes, and a little bit of madness.
1. Bobby Bonilla’s Payday Forever
Gray Star on Wikimedia Commons
Bobby Bonilla hasn’t played baseball since 2001, but the New York Mets still pay him $1.19 million every July 1st until 2035. Instead of paying him $5.9 million upfront, the Mets agreed to defer it with 8% interest—turning it into a $30 million payout. Bonilla essentially won the lottery with one of the best deals in sports history. Mets fans, on the other hand, relive this nightmare every summer.
2. Rick DiPietro’s 15-Year Hockey Gamble
5of7 on Wikimedia Commons
The New York Islanders gave goalie Rick DiPietro a 15-year, $67.5 million contract in 2006, banking on him being their franchise star. Injuries derailed his career, and the team bought him out in 2013—but they still owe him $1.5 million annually until 2029. Instead, a contract that was supposed to secure the team’s future became an expensive punchline. At least DiPietro doesn’t have to worry about rent for a long time.
3. Michael Jordan’s ‘Love of the Game’ Clause
Zach Catanzareti Photo on Wikimedia Commons
Most teams don’t want their star players risking injury outside official games, but Michael Jordan was different. His contract allowed him to play basketball anytime, anywhere—whether in a charity game, streetball, or a pickup match in someone’s driveway. The Chicago Bulls understood that keeping MJ happy was more important than micromanaging his schedule. When you’re the GOAT, you call the shots.
4. Manny Ramirez’s Retirement Paychecks
Andrew Malone on Wikimedia Commons
The Boston Red Sox traded Manny Ramirez in 2008, but he’s still getting paid by them. The team deferred $32 million of his contract, which means he’s been collecting annual payments of $2 million even in retirement. It’s one of the greatest “quit your job but still get paid” situations ever. Retirement goals? Be Manny.
5. Ichiro Suzuki’s Private Translator Contract
Keith Allison on Wikimedia Commons
When Ichiro signed with the Seattle Mariners, his contract included a full-time translator. That might seem normal, but here’s the twist—the translator, Allen Turner, also became his personal assistant, throwing partner, and even his friend. He was so essential that Ichiro ensured he was part of every new contract negotiation. Forget an agent—get yourself a translator who does it all.
6. Gilbert Arenas’ $111 Million Benchwarming
Keith Allison on Wikimedia Commons
In 2008, Gilbert Arenas signed a six-year, $111 million deal with the Washington Wizards. Knee injuries and locker room drama (including bringing a gun to the team facility) led to his downfall, but the contract still paid him long after he stopped playing. The best part? He collected $22 million in 2013 while sitting at home. The Wizards paid superstar money for a guy who wasn’t on the roster.
7. Fernando Tatís Sr.’s Century-Long Payout
Wknight94 on Wikimedia Commons
Fernando Tatís Sr. wasn’t a superstar, but the St. Louis Cardinals gave him a contract that paid him for 25 years after he stopped playing. The deal included so much deferred money that Tatís was still cashing checks long after his son, Fernando Tatís Jr., made it to the MLB. Getting paid for a quarter-century after retirement? That’s financial planning at its finest.
8. Magic Johnson’s 25-Year, $25 Million Gamble
Steve Lipofsky on Wikimedia Commons
In 1981, the Lakers signed Magic Johnson to a 25-year contract worth $25 million—an unheard-of deal at the time. It looked genius at first, locking down a legend at a bargain price, but inflation made it look silly by the 1990s. The Lakers made up for it by giving Magic ownership stakes and front-office roles later. It turns out that the real magic was in the long-term investment.
9. Dennis Rodman’s Vegas Vacation Clause
Tuomas Venhola on Wikimedia Commons
During his time with the Bulls, Dennis Rodman needed an occasional break. His contract allowed him to take a 48-hour vacation to Las Vegas whenever he felt like it (which, of course, went longer than 48 hours). Michael Jordan had to physically drag him back to the team. Only Rodman could get a vacation written into his contract and still win championships.
10. Cristiano Ronaldo’s Saudi Arabian Bonus Clause
Ludovic Péron on Wikimedia Commons
Cristiano Ronaldo’s $200 million contract with Al-Nassr wasn’t just about playing soccer—it included a World Cup ambassador clause. The deal supposedly involves additional money if Saudi Arabia wins its bid to host the 2030 World Cup. So, in a way, Ronaldo’s contract isn’t just about goals—it’s about global politics. When you’re CR7, even your contract affects world events.