10 Toys from the Past That Were Just Plain Weird

From radioactive kits to crying dolls, the past had a peculiar way of entertaining children, sometimes at the expense of common sense.

Alyana Aguja
June 18, 2025
3 min read

10 Toys from the Past That Were Just Plain Weird — Taylor Heery from Unsplash

Toys from previous decades often reflect the cultural oddities and unchecked creativity of their time. While some were bizarre in design, others were downright dangerous or emotionally unsettling. Looking back, these oddball creations highlight how childhood playthings can be windows into the anxieties, humor, and strangeness of their eras.

1. The Face Bank (1990s)

Erik Lucatero from Unsplash

This Japanese coin bank featured a rubbery, human-like face that would chew your coins while staring into your soul. Kids were fascinated — and slightly terrified — by the slow, lip-smacking motion and blinking eyes. It was supposed to be fun, but it felt more like feeding a demon.

2. Baby Laugh-a-Lot (1971)

Colin Maynard from Unsplash

Marketed by Remco, this baby doll laughed hysterically when you pulled a cord on its back. However, the laugh wasn’t cute — it was maniacal, echoing like something straight out of a horror film. Many children ended up in tears instead of giggles.

3. Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids (1996)

Image from Wikipedia

These dolls could “eat” plastic snacks thanks to battery-powered jaws, but they didn’t know when to stop. Reports came in of kids getting their fingers and hair caught in the doll’s mouth. Eventually, Mattel had to recall them before someone really got hurt.

4. Upsy Downsy Land (1970)

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This psychedelic toy line from Mattel came with strange, brightly colored figures that lived in an upside-down, nonsense world. The characters had names like “Flossy Glossy” and “Tingle Dingle,” and the whole aesthetic screamed 1960s acid trip. Even the commercials felt like a kaleidoscopic fever dream.

5. Shaving Fun Ken (1993)

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Mattel tried to make grooming cool by giving Ken a beard you could “shave” with a fake razor and water. He came with a plastic towel, foam can, and brush — but no actual hair. It looked more like you were wiping mustard off his face than giving him a shave.

6. Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces (1975)

Markus Spiske from Unsplash

Hugo was a bald, pale dummy with blank eyes and a suitcase full of disguises — beards, scars, wigs, and more. Kids were encouraged to transform him into spies or villains, but his lifeless stare made it all feel disturbingly real. It was part toy, part nightmare fuel.

7. Garbage Pail Kids Figures (1980s)

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Spun off from the infamous trading cards, these toys depicted grotesque, exaggerated kids with names like “Leaky Lindsay” or “Barfin’ Barbara.” They were intentionally gross, with snot, vomit, and bizarre deformities proudly on display. Parents hated them, so naturally, kids loved them.

8. Rad Repeatin’ Tarzan (1999)

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This Tarzan action figure had a lever on its back that made its arm swing repeatedly in a rather… suggestive way. It was meant to mimic vine-swinging, but the placement of the hand and repetitive motion led to endless jokes. Disney quietly pulled it from the shelves after public backlash.

9. Atomic Energy Lab (1950)

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Yes, this “educational” kit from Gilbert actually came with real radioactive materials. It was designed to teach kids about nuclear science, complete with a Geiger counter and uranium samples. Amazingly, it was sold with almost no concern for safety — just curiosity and confidence in science.

10. Little Miss No-Name (1965)

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Designed as the anti-Barbie, this sad-eyed doll wore a ragged dress and had a single tear painted on her cheek. She came with no accessories, only a backstory of poverty and neglect. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t sell well — no one wants their toy box to cry back at them.