10 Toys You Swear Existed—But No One Else Remembers
A surreal stroll through the toy aisles of forgotten childhoods, these bizarre, brilliant, and barely-remembered playthings prove that the '80s and '90s were a golden age of weird.
- Alyana Aguja
- 4 min read
From rubber monsters in boxes to robot trivia machines with Brooklyn twangs, the shelves of toys from the ’80s and ’90s were filled with peculiar gems that are now like half-forgotten dreams. Those weird and clever playthings engaged imaginations for a brief instant — then poof, gone, leaving behind only the haziest sense that you dreamed them up. Here are 10 actual toys that once filled our childhood with illumination and currently survive in the zone of twilight nostalgia.
1. Food Fighters (1988)
Image from eBay.ph
These were anthropomorphic foodstuffs dressed in military regalia — imagine hamburgers with machine guns and pizza cut into combat boots. There were two groups: the “Kitchen Commandos” and the “Refrigerator Rejects.” As creative and wonderfully weird as they were, they didn’t last long because of incorrect marketing and shelf competition.
2. My Pet Monster (1986)
Image from Ebay PH
A huggable plush toy with blue fur, toothy smile, and breakaway orange shackles, My Pet Monster was the strangely endearing toy that transformed monster fear into monster friendship. It even spawned a short-lived cartoon. Children could imagine taming their own monster, which was both defiant and reassuring.
3. Boglins (1987)
Image from Reddit
These rubbery, monstrous puppets resided in tiny crates and possessed squishy, blinking eyes you manipulated with your fingers. Created by special effects designers, Boglins resembled props from a Jim Henson fever dream. Their monstrous cuteness made them cult favorites for a short time in the late ’80s.
4. The Thingmaker / Creepy Crawlers (1964, reissued 1990s)
Image from Wikipedia
This toy oven allowed children to pour liquid plastic into metal molds to create bugs, worms, and other “creepy” things. The original Thingmaker of the ’60s was actually hazardous — it reached up to 390°F. The ’90s reissue was milder but still had that mad scientist charm.
5. Z-Bots (1992)
Image from eBay.ph
Small, collectible robots with wildly imaginative shapes and snap-on add-ons, Z-Bots were divided into good (Z-Bots) and evil (Voids). Though tiny, they sported intricate sculpts and a surprisingly rich lore on the back of their blister packs. They were popular for a fleeting moment before being overwhelmed by the impending Pokémon tide.
6. 2-XL (1978, re-released 1990s)
Image from Wikipedia
Prior to Alexa, there was 2-XL, a speechifying robot toy that utilized 8-track tapes (and eventually cassettes) to pose trivia questions and share jokes. It had buttons of multiple-choice that actually determined what it would utter next. The educational toy was strangely cute, boasting a Brooklyn-accented voice and real interactivity.
7. Skedoodle (1979)
Image from Doodlewash
Picture an Etch A Sketch, but rather than knobs, you manipulated a joystick on top of a huge ball to create. The screen was curved, and tilting the ball allowed you to manipulate your lines like a crude trackball. It was strangely pleasing, but clunky as all get-out — most kids abandoned it quickly.
8. Sectaurs: Warriors of Symbion (1985)
Image from eBay.ph
Half-man, half-bug action figures that rode giant creepy-crawly puppets you wore on your hands like gloves. These were gigantic — literally and metaphorically — for roughly six months. The line even spawned a surprisingly dark animated miniseries, but it couldn’t hold a candle to He-Man or G.I. Joe.
9. Madballs (1985)
Image from Reddit
Grotesque, rubber balls with gross-out faces — eye gouging out, brains hanging loose, fangs and pus aplenty. They were the ultimate combination of horror and slapstick, surfing on the ’80s gross-out humor wave. Kids enjoyed slamming them around, and moms despised how repulsive they appeared.
10. Power Glove (1989)
Image from Wikipedia
Sold as the gaming future, the Power Glove allowed you to play NES games using a hand wave like some kind of digital sorcerer. It was futuristic-looking but awful to use — laggy, unresponsive, and nearly worthless. However, it’s an icon thanks to the movie The Wizard and a pop culture artifact.