12 Books Everyone Claims to Have Read but Probably Didn’t, in Celebration of World Book Day

On World Book Day, let’s talk about the titles that live rent-free in our minds—but not in our actual reading history. These are the books we say we’ve read to sound smart, cultured, or just avoid awkward silence. Don’t worry, we’ve all done it.

1. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

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It’s a brick-sized Russian classic with a name that sounds smart in any setting. People love to drop it in conversation like a literary mic. However, let’s be real; most of us get lost halfway through the war part and peace out before the peace. It’s more unread bookshelf decor than finished masterpiece.

2. Ulysses by James Joyce

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This one’s famous for being confusing on purpose. It reads like a stream of consciousness that took a detour through a thesaurus and never came back. Saying you’ve read Ulysses is like saying you run marathons for fun—technically possible, deeply suspicious. Most readers bow out somewhere between “what?” and “why?”

3. Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

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It’s the ultimate “I’m a deep thinker” flex book. Huge, footnoted, and often found on bookshelves untouched except for dusting. People like to say they’ve read it because it screams intellect, but reading it is another story. It’s a literary Everest, and most of us just stare up from base camp.

4. Moby-Dick by Herman Melville

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Ah, yes, the whale tale. Most people know the first line and then nothing else. The rest of the book dives deep—too deep—into whale anatomy and symbolism that feels like a lecture. If you finished it, you deserve a harpoon-shaped medal.

5. A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

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It’s sold millions but is probably the most unread bestseller in history. Everyone wants to seem like they get black holes and time warps. The reality is that after a few pages, your brain starts buffering and never quite recovers.

6. Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

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It’s thick, it’s French, and it’s full of emotional suffering. Most people just watched the movie or the musical and nodded like they tackled the whole thing. However, the book dives into French politics, sewers, and side plots that derail even the most determined reader. Finishing this is a badge of literary pain tolerance.

7. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

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People claim they loved it as a teen—angsty, rebellious, misunderstood. However, many never made it past Holden’s whining to actually grasp the deeper themes. It’s often assigned in school, so the memory of reading it kind of counts, right? Still, quoting Holden doesn’t mean you finished the book.

8. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

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The title alone feels like homework. It’s dark, psychological, and full of long monologues and even longer Russian names. People start it with good intentions and slowly fade into guilt, just like the main character. If you made it to the end, you deserve extra credit and a snack.

9. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

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It’s short, sure, but did you actually read it or just catch the Leo DiCaprio version? People toss around Gatsby quotes like confetti at a party they weren’t really invited to. It’s the kind of book everyone says they “revisit” when really, they barely visited the first time. Let’s just say the green light gets more attention than the plot.

10. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Another Dostoevsky because he’s double trouble. This one’s a marathon of philosophical angst and sibling drama. People mention it with a knowing nod, but deep down, they gave up after one too many “Karamazovs” and a crisis of faith. It’s a great book, but a tough sell for beach reading.

11. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

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Fans are really vocal about this one—usually the ones who only made it halfway. It’s long, heavy on ideology, and packed with speeches that feel like they last for days. People claim it changed their lives, but can’t quite remember how it ended. It’s the reading equivalent of saying you do CrossFit—you just have to mention it.

12. Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

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We all love the idea of the windmill-fighting dreamer, but the book itself is a long, winding journey filled with side quests, confusion, and very old-timey jokes. Most readers stop after realizing it’s more exhausting than whimsical.

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