13 Children’s Commercials That Aged Horribly
These once-popular children’s commercials now look bizarre, unsafe, or just plain disturbing through today’s lens.
- Alyana Aguja
- 4 min read
Children’s advertising from past decades often pushed boundaries in ways that now seem absurd, unsafe, or tone-deaf. From toys that posed real physical dangers to characters that crossed the line into uncanny or guilt-inducing territory, these commercials reflect a time before stricter safety regulations and cultural sensitivity. Looking back, it’s clear how much the standards for what we market to kids — and how — have changed.
1. Baby Wee Wee (1990s)
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A doll that literally peed after drinking water might have seemed like a “realistic” toy at the time, but Baby Wee Wee’s commercial felt like a strange lesson in anatomy no one asked for. The toy was designed with surprising detail, prompting more than a few raised eyebrows from modern viewers. Today, it’s hard to imagine a children’s product so casually putting bodily functions on display in a TV spot.
2. Skip-It – Original Version (Late 1980s)
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The upbeat jingle was catchy, but what aged badly was the way it completely glossed over how painful it was to use. Kids would trip, fall, or smash their ankles trying to keep up with the spinning plastic counter. Seeing the ad now, it feels like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
3. Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids (1996)
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These dolls had motorized mouths that “ate” plastic snacks, but they didn’t stop there. Several reports emerged of the dolls munching on children’s hair and even fingers, prompting a nationwide recall. Watching the commercial now is surreal, especially knowing how ominously misleading the cheerful tone was.
4. Gator Golf (1994)
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The premise was innocent — put golf balls into a plastic gator’s mouth. However, what aged badly is the marketing’s complete disregard for safety; the toy had snapping jaws that could smack kids in the face during play. Today, we’d call that a hazard disguised as a game.
5. Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow (1977)
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This toy let kids “milk” a plastic cow, complete with udders and a refillable milk pail. The commercial treated it like a thrilling barnyard simulation, but watching it now, the mechanical udder-pulling looks disturbingly out of place in a kids’ product. It feels more like an SNL parody than a real toy ad.
6. Potty Training Elmo (2000)
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Elmo is beloved, but a talking doll that cheers on your potty attempts? Even for parents, this crossed a line into weirdly invasive territory. The overly enthusiastic, “Let’s flush!” just doesn’t land the same way in a post-TikTok world of endless memes.
7. Moon Shoes (1990s)
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“Mini-trampolines for your feet!” sounded awesome in theory, but the commercial forgot to mention all the twisted ankles and busted chins. It was marketed as safe, high-flying fun, but kids were flopping over like crash-test dummies. With today’s safety standards, this wouldn’t make it past the prototype stage.
8. Kaba Kick (1990s, Japan)
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This Japanese toy revolver for kids worked like Russian roulette — the plastic gun was “fired” at your head, and if you lost, a hippo’s leg popped out and hit your forehead. Yes, that was the game. Even with a cartoonish aesthetic, it’s hard to imagine a worse lesson in risk-taking.
9. Snackin’ Sara (1992)
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Another member of the creepy doll family, Snackin’ Sara would “chew” food and talk while eating. The commercial makes it seem charming, but her robotic jaw and glassy-eyed stare look straight out of a horror movie today. Even worse, she had the same hair-eating issues as Snacktime Kids.
10. Creepy Crawlers “Thingmaker” (1960s and 1990s)
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The ’90s version tried to bring back the magic of molding goo into bugs, but the device still used an actual heating element. The commercial didn’t exactly spell out that the oven got hot enough to burn skin. Watching it now, you wonder how they convinced anyone this belonged in a child’s bedroom.
11. Play-Doh Mop Top Hair Shop (1977 & reissues)
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This toy encouraged kids to “cut” colorful Play-Doh hair as it sprouted from plastic heads. However, the 1970s version depicted kids laughing as they hacked away with what appeared to be real scissors. The ad looks hilariously chaotic now, like a primetime ad for future barbers gone rogue.
12. Little Miss No-Name (1965)
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Designed to be a counterpoint to glamorous dolls, she had glassy, tear-filled eyes and wore a potato sack. The commercial asked children to “take her home and love her,” which today reads more like an emotional guilt trip. Between her haunted orphan vibe and bleak tone, this toy would terrify modern audiences.
13. McDonald’s Ronald McDonald Safety Video Ads (1980s)
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These PSA-style commercials featured Ronald giving safety tips in the creepiest tone imaginable. With low-budget effects and a clown looming over children, they unintentionally felt like public service horror shorts. Kids back then were unfazed, but watching now? Nightmare fuel.