13 Toy Commercials from the ’80s That Wouldn’t Air Today
These ‘80s toy commercials reveal how different our cultural standards around safety, gender, and representation have become.
- Alyana Aguja
- 4 min read
Toy ads from the 1980s were loud, colorful, and often wildly inappropriate by today’s standards. They reflected a time when stereotypes, danger, and narrow roles were not only accepted but marketed to children with enthusiasm. Looking back, these commercials remind us how far advertising — and society — has evolved in terms of ethics, inclusivity, and child safety.
1. He-Man: “I Have the Power!” (Mattel, 1984)
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He-Man was all about muscle, domination, and bare-chested heroism — and the commercials weren’t shy about it. The ads leaned hard into a hyper-masculine ideal, showing boys that strength and power were everything. Today, that one-dimensional portrayal of masculinity would raise eyebrows for its narrow definition of what boys should be.
2. Baby Alive: “She Eats, She Poops!” (Kenner, 1985)
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The Baby Alive commercials zoomed in on her “realistic” digestion, almost proudly advertising how kids could feed her and clean up afterward. It was meant to simulate motherhood, but in a way that weirdly glorified diaper duty and mess. In a more sensitive era, advertising poop as play just wouldn’t pass muster.
3. My Buddy Doll (Hasbro, 1985)
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“My Buddy, my Buddy, wherever I go, he goes!” was a jingle stuck in every kid’s head, but the commercial also subtly pushed rigid gender roles. It framed nurturing and companionship as acceptable for boys only if wrapped in masculine packaging. The idea that boys had to have “boy dolls” instead of just dolls would feel unnecessary now.
4. Jarts (Lawn Darts, 1980s)
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Yes, these were sold as toys. The commercials showed families joyfully tossing heavy, sharp darts into the air — never mind the serious injuries (and deaths) they caused. Unsurprisingly, these were eventually banned, and you wouldn’t catch a company promoting such a lethal “toy” on TV today.
5. Cabbage Patch Kids Preemie Dolls (Coleco, 1985)
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These commercials marketed premature baby dolls, complete with tiny hospital gear and the narrative of fragile birth. The idea of “adopting” a preemie came across as trivializing the real trauma families go through. Present-day audiences would likely see this as insensitive and tone-deaf.
6. Skip-It (Tiger Toys, 1989)
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The original Skip-It ad turned a simple ankle toy into a dizzying competition of speed and performance. Girls were shown obsessively counting skips, often turning the fun into a frenzied pursuit of perfection. Today, the pressure-heavy vibe would be flagged for pushing performance anxiety on kids.
7. Micronauts (Mego, early ’80s)
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This toy line’s commercials were visually exciting but drenched in militarism, space warfare, and explosive conflict. It encouraged kids to imagine alien destruction and galactic conquest — basically, mini war reenactments. With today’s sensitivity around war imagery and kids, it wouldn’t fly so easily.
8. Slime Time (Mattel, 1986)
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These ads glorified mess, chaos, and green goo oozing everywhere — on kids, on furniture, and even in mouths. There were few warnings about safety or cleanup, just an all-out slime fest. In a world now more conscious of hygiene and choking hazards, this would trigger a parental revolt.
9. Powder Puff Girls Dolls (Galoob, 1988)
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Before Powerpuff, there was Powder Puff — a short-lived doll line that essentially told girls to prep for beauty pageants. The commercials paraded makeup, hair curlers, and exaggerated femininity as must-haves. Today’s focus on empowering girls through diverse interests would make this campaign feel way out of touch.
10. Battling Tops (Ideal Toy Company, 1982)
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A classic boy-centric commercial, it was all shouting, spinning violence, and the promise of “crushing your enemies.” The intensity made it seem like winning a plastic top battle was a matter of life or death. Its aggressive tone, paired with zero inclusivity, would likely be softened or scrapped today.
11. Creepy Crawlers (ToyMax, late ’80s)
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Kids were encouraged to cook their own plastic bugs in an oven using goop and molds — no joke. The commercials boasted how gross and sticky the creatures were, often without clear warnings. Modern safety and burn concerns would bury this product before it aired.
12. She-Ra: Princess of Power (Mattel, 1985)
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She-Ra was groundbreaking but still boxed in by gender clichés in her ads — beauty, grace, and magical femininity were her selling points. The commercials often contrasted her with He-Man’s brute force, reinforcing gender binaries rather than challenging them. A more nuanced take would be needed now.
13. Playmobil Native American Sets (1980s)
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These sets were advertised with stereotypical feathered headdresses and teepees, reducing Indigenous cultures to caricatures. The commercials often used mock accents and vague “tribal” music to set the scene. That kind of cultural insensitivity wouldn’t just be frowned upon today — it’d be outright rejected.