14 ’80s Radio Jingles That Wouldn’t Play Today
Here's a throwback to catchy ’80s radio jingles that, while unforgettable, definitely wouldn’t make it past today’s cultural radar.
- Chris Graciano
- 3 min read
Radio advertisements were quite popular in the 1980s. Everyone could not get the catchy jingles out of their brains. However, cultural standards evolve with time, and many of those classic songs haven’t held up well. This is a look back at 14 1980s radio jingles that, if played now, would cause listeners to raise their eyebrows or worse.
1. Folgers Coffee – “The Best Part of Wakin’ Up” (with a twist)
Mike Mozart on Flickr
While this jingle still lives on in nostalgia, early versions leaned heavily into gender roles. It practically crowned mom as the designated coffee brewer, baking gender expectations right into the chorus.
2. McDonald’s – “You Deserve a Break Today”
Visual Karsa on Unsplash
Though catchy, this slogan basically told overworked Americans that fast food was self-care. It romanticized unhealthy eating under the guise of stress relief.
3. Pepsi – “Choice of a New Generation”
NIKHIL on Unsplash
Pepsi pitted itself against “old-school” Coke by branding itself as young, fresh, and hip. However, it did so by throwing older people under the bus, practically labeling them irrelevant.
4. Dr. Pepper – “Be a Pepper”
Vladislav Glukhotko on Unsplash
“Be a Pepper” made you feel like an outsider if you didn’t drink their soda. Its ironic push for individuality actually encouraged conformity. These days, customers see through forced trendiness.
5. Virginia Slims – “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby”
Joe Haupt on Flickr
This jingle dressed up smoking as a feminist triumph. It equated lighting up with liberation, which is painfully tone-deaf by today’s standards.
6. Diet Coke – “Just for the Taste of It”
Kenny Eliason on Unsplash
This jingle framed dieting as glamorous, all while subtly body-shaming those who didn’t conform to idealized beauty standards. The underlying message? Skinny equals desirable.
7. Bud Light – “Give Me a Light”
Esperanza Doronila on Unsplash
This spot leaned into bar culture with reckless abandon, glamorizing alcohol consumption without any nuance. Today, brands are expected to promote responsible drinking and social awareness.
8. Alka-Seltzer – “I Can’t Believe I Ate the Whole Thing”
Mysterymanblue on Wikimedia Commons
While the line was funny, it encouraged binge eating as a joke and normalized overindulgence. It played digestive discomfort for laughs but offered little awareness about nutrition or health.
9. Coca-Cola – “Have a Coke and a Smile” (with Mean Joe Greene)
EasyLife Designs on Unsplash
This iconic ad featured a heartwarming exchange, but early versions relied on emotionally manipulating viewers to associate soda with kindness. The product placement was heavy-handed, even by ‘80s standards.
10. Burger King – “Have It Your Way”
Ismail Hadine on Unsplash
The jingle celebrated extreme customization but unintentionally fed into a culture of entitlement. It made fast food sound like a right, not a privilege.
11. Kool-Aid – “Oh Yeah!”
zombieite on Unsplash
This explosive jingle, paired with the crashing wall Kool-Aid Man, promoted sugary drinks to kids with wild enthusiasm. There was no regard for sugar content or hyperactivity concerns.
12. Wendy’s – “Where’s the Beef?”
Dorrell Tibbs on Unsplash
This slogan became a cultural phenomenon, but it mocked competitors by suggesting they were weak or inferior. It wasn’t just cheeky — it was cutthroat. Today’s ad strategies prefer clever competition, not outright shade.
13. Shake ‘n Bake – “And I Helped!”
Mike Mozart on Flickr
This jingle featured a little girl beaming about helping her mom with dinner — reinforcing outdated gender roles. It painted cooking as a female duty and glorified a child’s involvement as adorable only within that domestic framework.
14. Calgon – “Ancient Chinese Secret”
Toiletries & Cosmetics Wholesaler on Flickr
Perhaps the most glaringly inappropriate of the bunch, this ad used a fake “Asian secret” as a marketing gimmick. It leaned into harmful stereotypes for comedic effect.