14 Appliances That Were Loud, Ugly, but Totally Reliable
These clunky machines may have looked rough and sounded worse, but they worked like champs for decades.
- Chris Graciano
- 3 min read
Regardless of how noisy or ugly they were, appliances were made to survive long before modern designs and whisper-quiet engines. Though they lacked design and produced noise, these antiquated domestic appliances seldom failed. These 14 vintage machines, despite their annoying appearance and noise, did the job.
1. Harvest Gold Dishwashers
cottonbro studio on Pexels
With a color straight out of a 1970s kitchen nightmare, these bulky machines were anything but pretty. However, they washed dishes like pros, even with decades of use.
2. Box Fans
Arbitrarily0 on Wikimedia Commons
Loud enough to drown out conversation and rattly when set past “low,” these metal-framed fans were summer essentials. They had no bells, no whistles — just powerful airflow.
3. Rotary Dial Washing Machines
Paul Hudson on Flickr
No touchscreens, just big dials that clicked with authority. These machines chugged away with a roaring spin cycle that shook the floor. You knew it was working by the noise alone.
4. Window Air Conditioners
Airam Dato-on on Pexels
Massive, dripping, and louder than a freight train, these units kept bedrooms icy cold. The rattle and roar were part of their charm — and their warning sign that summer was in full swing.
5. Pop-Up Toasters (Chrome Finish)
Daniel Salgado on Unsplash
Shiny but bulky, these toasters popped with a violent thunk and a hint of burnt crumbs. The ticking timer and sudden launch were unforgettable. Despite their dated look, they toasted evenly and lasted forever.
6. Upright Vacuums with Bags
DSC01600 on Wikimedia Commons
These beasts were heavy, loud, and smelled vaguely of dust even after a fresh bag change. However, they sucked up dirt like champions and were easy to fix.
7. Plug-In Percolators
Tim on Flickr
Before Keurigs, these bubbling metal coffee pots brewed with flair and noise. You could hear them perking away, filling the kitchen with a rich aroma. They weren’t fast, and they weren’t cute, but the coffee was strong and hot.
8. Wall-Mounted Can Openers
Simon Williams on Flickr
Jutting out from the wall with a hulking presence, these mechanical openers made a grinding racket. However, they handled cans of any size with ease and zero wrist strain.
9. CRT Televisions
Morn on Wikimedia Commons
Heavy, boxy, and humming with static, these TVs weren’t made for aesthetics. However, once you adjusted the bunny ears, the picture came through crisp and true.
10. Blender Beasts (Multi-Speed Metal Base)
Mohammad abasi on Pexels
Turn it on, and the whole counter shook. These chrome-bodied machines were loud enough to wake the neighbors. However, they crushed ice, blended smoothies, and powered through anything.
11. Range Hoods with Toggle Switches
Steven Pavlov on Wikimedia Commons
These noisy fans sounded like jet engines but cleared out smoke and grease in seconds. With clunky toggle switches and a stubborn light, they were simple yet effective.
12. Electric Knife Sets
Athol Mullen on Wikimedia Commons
Buzzing like a chainsaw, these two-blade wonders sliced through turkey and bread like butter. Noisy, awkward, and impossible to store neatly, but holiday meals depended on them.
13. Analog Alarm Clocks
indra projects on Pexels
With glowing red digits and a siren-like buzz, these clocks guaranteed you’d never oversleep. Snoozing meant slapping a huge button on top, half-asleep.
14. Portable Space Heaters (Metal Coil Models)
Wikimedia Commons
They hummed, glowed orange, and smelled a little like toast, but these heaters warmed up chilly rooms fast. Compact and sturdy, they heated spaces in minutes.