15 Kid Foods That Should Never Have Existed
Growing up, some foods were just part of the fun, no matter how strange they looked or tasted. However, thinking back as adults, it’s hard to believe anyone approved some of these ideas.
- Tricia Quitales
- 5 min read
Childhood snacks often aimed more for excitement than nutrition or common sense. Many products were packed with artificial colors, sugar overload, or ingredients barely recognizable as food. While they were marketed to appeal to kids, some items now seem bizarre or even concerning. Looking at them today, it’s clear they probably never should have made it to store shelves.
1. EZ Squirt Colored Ketchup
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Heinz introduced this brightly colored ketchup in hues like purple and green. Kids loved the novelty, but it tasted no different than regular ketchup. The odd colors were unappetizing to adults and confusing to the senses. It turned mealtimes into a messy experiment. Most people agree food shouldn’t look like slime.
2. Lunchables Dessert Packs
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These were kits filled with sugar cookies, icing, sprinkles, and candy. They were essentially build-your-own sugar bombs. With little to no nutritional value, they disguised dessert as a balanced snack. Kids thought they were fun, but they offered nothing good for growing bodies. Even parents started pushing back against the sugar overload.
3. Kid Cuisine TV Dinners
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Marketed as full meals for kids, these frozen trays featured tiny portions of over-processed food. The macaroni was rubbery, the desserts were strange, and everything was loaded with preservatives. Bright packaging didn’t mask the lack of quality. The meals were microwavable, but barely edible. Few miss them now that real food is easier to prepare.
4. Squeezit Drinks
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These plastic bottles of sugary juice came in wild colors with silly faces on the packaging. You squeezed the bottle to drink, making it fun for kids but a nightmare for sugar-conscious parents. Each bottle was more artificial than refreshing. While the packaging was memorable, the drink was far from healthy. Today, it feels more like a science experiment than a beverage.
5. Trix Yogurt
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Bright neon colors and candy-like sweetness defined this yogurt. It was less of a healthy snack and more of a dessert pretending to be good for you. The artificial flavoring was intense and barely resembled fruit. Kids loved the vibrant look, but parents grew wary of the ingredient list. In hindsight, it never passed as real yogurt.
6. Bubble Tape Gum
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Six feet of bubble gum in a tape dispenser was a dream for kids. But it encouraged overconsumption of sugar and was packed with artificial colors and flavors. It looked like something from a hardware store, not a snack aisle. The novelty wore off quickly once the gum lost flavor after a few minutes. It was more about packaging than actual taste.
7. Yogos Snack Balls
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These tiny yogurt-covered fruit bits were sticky, overly sweet, and questionably nutritious. Marketed as a snack with some health benefits, they were mostly sugar in disguise. The texture was odd, and the coating felt unnatural. They vanished quickly from shelves for a reason. Not all yogurt snacks are created equal.
8. Wonder Ball
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This candy was a chocolate ball filled with tiny, hard candies inside. Kids loved the surprise factor, but choking hazards quickly became a concern. Parents didn’t love the idea of mixing hard candy inside chocolate. It was temporarily pulled from shelves due to safety fears. Novelty aside, it just wasn’t safe or sensible.
9. Candy Cigarettes
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These chalky sticks mimicked real cigarettes, complete with a white paper wrapping and red tips. They sent all the wrong messages to kids and normalized smoking. The idea of imitating an adult vice in candy form was never a good one. They’re now banned in many countries for obvious reasons. Childhood treats should not glamorize harmful habits.
10. Dinosaur Egg Oatmeal
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This instant oatmeal had sugar eggs that “hatched” into tiny dinosaur-shaped candies. It made breakfast fun but also packed unnecessary sugar into a supposed healthy meal. The eggs often melted into a gooey mess. Kids liked the visual surprise more than the flavor. It felt more like a trick than a treat.
11. Gushers
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These fruit snacks exploded with liquid when bitten into, which sounded fun but wasn’t always pleasant. The centers were overly sweet and messy. Kids liked the surprise, but parents dreaded the sticky cleanup. The ingredients list read like a chemistry set. They were more of a shock value than an actual snack.
12. Pepsi Blue
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Marketed as a bold, berry-flavored soda, it had a bright blue color that almost glowed. The flavor was chemical-heavy and completely unnatural. It confused both soda and berry lovers. Kids drank it for the novelty, but few truly liked it. Its short lifespan says everything.
13. Slimer Ecto Cooler
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A green citrus-flavored drink inspired by the Ghostbusters character, Slimer. It was bright, sugary, and full of artificial everything. Kids were drawn to the branding rather than the flavor. It became iconic, but not because it was delicious. It was more about marketing than substance.
14. Cheez Balls in a Can
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These fluorescent orange cheese puffs came in a can and left fingers permanently dusted. The taste was more salt than cheese, with an artificial tang. They were addictive but far from nutritious. The packaging made them seem like a science project gone wrong. They were all crunch, no value.
15. Jell-O Pudding Pops
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Despite the brand’s popularity, these frozen treats never quite delivered on taste or texture. They melted too fast, had a waxy feel, and were far too sweet. Kids ate them for the novelty more than the flavor. They disappeared quietly from the market. Not every frozen treat deserves a comeback.