15 Old Magazine Ads That Wouldn’t Fly Today

Advertising has changed a lot over the years, and some vintage magazine ads make you wonder how they ever got approved. From shockingly sexist slogans to cigarette ads featuring doctors, these relics of the past would never make it to print today. While some are just outdated, others are so absurd they’re almost funny—if they weren’t so cringeworthy.

1. “Blow in Her Face and She’ll Follow You Anywhere” (Tipalet Cigarettes, 1970s)

The Elks on Wikimedia Commons

This cigarette ad featured a man blowing smoke into a woman’s face, implying she’d find it attractive. Today, it would be offensive for both sexism and secondhand smoke concerns. If anyone tried this now, they’d probably get a disgusted look, not admiration.

2. “More Doctors Smoke Camels” (Camel Cigarettes, 1940s-1950s)

Epolk on Wikimedia Commons

Camel ran a whole campaign claiming that doctors preferred their cigarettes. It even cited a “survey” of physicians, though the research was questionable. Today, promoting cigarettes as doctor-approved would lead to lawsuits and public outrage.

3. “You Mean a Woman Can Open It?” (Alcoa Aluminum, 1953)

Alcoa Aluminum on Wikimedia Commons

This ad for an easy-to-open bottle cap featured a shocked woman finally able to open her drink. It was meant to highlight convenience, but instead, it came across as absurdly sexist. Today, a brand using this angle would get instantly called out.

4. “If Your Husband Ever Finds Out…” (Van Heusen, 1950s)

Mike Mozart on Wikimedia Commons

This ad showed a woman serving breakfast in bed to her husband, with the tagline warning women about failing their “wifely duties.” It suggested that women must keep their husbands happy or face the consequences. Today, this would be social media outrage fuel.

5. “Show Her It’s a Man’s World” (Van Heusen, 1950s)

LaurenDenton on Wikimedia Commons

This is another Van Heusen disaster featuring a smug-looking husband lounging while his wife served him. The message was clear: men ruled, and women served. Any brand trying this today would face boycotts and PR chaos.

6. “Because Innocence is Sexier Than You Think” (Love’s Baby Soft, 1975)

Bruno Acampora Profumi on Wikimedia Commons

This perfume ad featured a young girl holding a teddy bear, with a tagline implying that childlike innocence was sexy. It was meant to be playful, but the wording was deeply unsettling. Today, this would get banned immediately.  

7. “Cocaine Toothache Drops” (1885)

National Library of Medicine - History of Medicine on Wikimedia Commons

Yes, in the late 1800s, you could buy cocaine as a remedy for toothaches. It was even marketed as safe for children. Today, this would be not only illegal but completely unthinkable. It’s a reminder of just how little people knew about the dangers of drugs back then.

8. “Ayds Diet Candy” (1970s-1980s)

Nesster on Wikimedia Commons

Ayds was a popular appetite-suppressing candy with ads promising weight loss. Unfortunately, when the AIDS crisis emerged, the brand name became an obvious problem. Sales plummeted, and the company eventually folded. No amount of rebranding could have saved a name that unfortunate.

9. “Keep Her Where She Belongs” (KELVINATOR Appliances, 1950s)

Caitriana Nicholson on Wikimedia Commons

This ad promoted kitchen appliances as a way to keep women “happy” in their rightful place—the kitchen. It wasn’t even subtle about the message. Today, it would be the ultimate example of outdated gender roles. Imagine the backlash if a modern company tried this today.

10. “Have a Happy Period” (Always, 2000s)

John H. White on Wikimedia Commons

Unlike most of the list, this isn’t offensive—it’s just hilariously out of touch. The idea that anyone has a “happy period” was widely mocked. The slogan was eventually dropped after years of backlash. Even with better marketing, no one will ever “enjoy” cramps.

11. “More Doctors Recommend Viceroys Than Any Other Cigarette” (Viceroy, 1940s-1950s)

Brown & Williamson Tobacco Corporation on Wikimedia Commons

This is another cigarette brand trying to use doctors to make smoking look healthy. These ads often showed a doctor in a white coat, giving the impression of medical approval. Today, cigarette advertising is heavily restricted, and this claim would be illegal. If a doctor actually recommended smoking today, they’d lose their license.

12. “Your Thirst Takes Wings” (Red Bull, 2000s)

Adrian Michael on Wikimedia Commons

Red Bull was sued over its slogan “Red Bull Gives You Wings” because consumers felt misled—no one actually got wings. The company had to pay $13,000,000 for settlement. Today, brands are more careful about misleading advertising. It turns out that people expect companies to mean what they say.  

13. “Start Cola Early” (Soda Industry, 1950s-1960s)

RC Cola on Wikimedia Commons

Old soda ads targeted young children, sometimes suggesting that early exposure would make them lifelong fans. One ad from Royal Crown Cola featured a baby with the tagline, “For a Better Start in Life.” Today, marketing sugary drinks to infants would spark outrage. Imagine a modern baby formula brand suggesting parents add Coke to the bottle.

14. “The Harder a Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks” (Drummond Sweaters, 1950s)

Joan Rocaguinard on Wikimedia Commons

This sweater ad featured a woman looking exhausted from housework, claiming that all this effort made her more attractive. It was meant to be lighthearted, but the message is outdated and cringeworthy. Today, brands focus on empowerment, not glorifying overworked wives. No one looks “cuter” after scrubbing floors all day.

15. “Lard: Pure, Digestible Energy” (Lard Industry, 1940s-1950s)

Peter G Werner on Wikimedia Commons

For decades, lard was marketed as healthy, with ads claiming it was great for digestion and provided energy. Today, health standards have changed, and promoting lard as a miracle food would be laughed at. However, some chefs still swear by it. At least no one’s claiming it’s a superfood anymore.

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