15 Strange Things Parents Used to Say That Made No Sense
From mysterious curses to quirky warnings, parents have long wielded bizarre sayings that baffled us as kids — and only make us laugh (or cringe) in hindsight.
- Alyana Aguja
- 4 min read
Parents have a way of passing down strange sayings that, as kids, seemed like absolute truths but now make us scratch our heads in disbelief. From warnings about sitting too close to the TV to bizarre threats about belly buttons coming undone, these quirky phrases reveal a fascinating mix of folklore, old wives’ tales, and good intentions gone hilariously wrong.
1. “Don’t sit too close to the TV or you’ll go blind.”
Ajeet Mestry from Unsplash
For some reason, this was treated with the gravity of a medical emergency. You’d be sprawled on the carpet, nose nearly against the screen, and suddenly — “Are you trying to ruin your eyes?” Ironically, we now hold our phones closer to our faces than to our noses, and no one bats an eye.
2. “If you swallow gum, it stays in your stomach for seven years.”
Aleks Dorohovich from Unsplash
This one was enough to make you panic mid-chew. The idea of a piece of Doublemint lingering in your gut until college was terrifying. In reality, gum passes through like most other indigestibles — quietly, and way sooner.
3. “Crack your knuckles and you’ll get arthritis.”
Nahid Hatami from Unsplash
Every pop was apparently a countdown to a future full of stiff, gnarled hands. You’d try to sneak in a knuckle crack like it was a dirty secret. Science says there’s no connection — just noise and disapproving looks.
4. “Don’t go outside with wet hair or you’ll catch a cold.”
Paul Siewert from Unsplash
Rainy days and showers became health hazards under this belief. Wet hair was framed like an open invitation for viruses to throw a party. It turns out that viruses cause colds, not your shampoo schedule.
5. “If you make a face and the wind changes, it’ll stick that way.”
Christopher Campbell from Unsplash
You’d contort your face in a goofy scowl only to be told the wind was conspiring against you. It planted a strange fear of weather and expression in equal measure. Sadly (or thankfully), no one has ever been permanently stuck mid-silly face.
6. “Eat your crusts—they’ll make your hair curly.”
Nathan Dumlao from Unsplash
As a kid with stick-straight hair, this felt like a fairytale bribe. However, no matter how much toast crust you dutifully consumed, no curls ever came. It was just a lot of chewing and disappointment.
7. “Don’t cross your eyes or they’ll stay that way.”
Marina Vitale from Unsplash
Somehow, the threat of permanent cross-eyedness followed any playground silliness. You’d glance sideways too long and instantly fear optical doom. Spoiler: your eyes are far more flexible than your mom let on.
8. “Chicken skin will make your singing voice bad.”
Ben Moreland from Unsplash
This gem floated around Filipino households like a cautionary tale. No one could quite explain the connection, but we obeyed, trading crispy skin for dreams of karaoke glory. It was a cruel trade.
9. “Don’t sleep with your hair wet — it’ll make you go blind.”
Ayo Ogunseinde from Unsplash
Not just colds — apparently, blindness was also on the menu for post-shower naps. You’d lie awake with damp hair and a growing sense of doom. Another myth, thoroughly debunked but oddly persistent.
10. “If you lie, your tongue will turn black.”
Roman Petrov from Unsplash
A terrifying image to a six-year-old mid-fib. You’d dash to the mirror, half-expecting your tongue to betray you. It was a clever trick, really — just inaccurate enough to stick.
11. “You can’t swim for 30 minutes after eating or you’ll drown.”
Maarten van den Heuvel from Unsplash
Every beach trip came with a tightly watched digestive countdown. It was as if your stomach turned into an anchor the moment you touched the water. No studies have ever proven this necessary, but that post-lunch waiting ritual remains legendary.
12. “If you pee in the pool, the water will turn red.”
Artem Militonian from Unsplash
A genius psychological deterrent disguised as science. You imagined a trail of shame blooming around you in front of all your cousins. The truth? No such dye exists in most pools, but the fear is eternal.
13. “Your belly button will come undone if you play with it too much.”
Cheyenne Doig from Unsplash
This one was just strange. Like, what does “come undone” even mean — would your insides fall out? It was enough to make you regard your navel like a fragile button on the brink.
14. “Thunder is just God moving furniture.”
Johannes Plenio from Unsplash
When you were little and scared of the storm, this one was oddly comforting. You’d imagine a divine being rearranging a heavenly living room overhead. Silly? Yes, but somehow, it helped you sleep.
15. “Turn the light off when you’re sleeping, or you’ll go blind.”
Greg Pappas from Unsplash
Apparently, even too much light at night could rob you of your sight. It was a confusing world, where both dark and light were equally dangerous. Today, we know it just messes with your circadian rhythm, not your eyeballs.