15 Things Kids Bragged About That Weren’t Impressive at All
Children have a unique sense of pride that often manifests in bragging about the most unexpected things. While it’s part of growing up, some of these boasts are more entertaining than admirable.
- Tricia Quitales
- 5 min read
Childhood is filled with confidence, imagination, and an eagerness to impress others. Many children end up bragging about things that, in hindsight, hold little to no value. These over-the-top declarations are often the result of limited perspective and playful innocence. What seems like a flex at 10 years old often becomes a joke by adulthood. The following moments reflect the lighter side of childhood egos and their harmless attempts at social status.
1. Owning 100 Crayons
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A kid once boasted about having a 100-count crayon box with a built-in sharpener. He made it sound like owning a luxury car. Everyone in class had crayons, but he acted like his were magical. Most of the time, he only used the same five colors. The rest sat unused, gathering dust in the box.
2. Having a Trampoline
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Another common brag involved owning a backyard trampoline. Kids would talk about it like it was a personal amusement park. In reality, they rarely let anyone else jump on it. They would brag about tricks they could do, even if they never actually performed them. Injuries and overhype were more common than any real athletic feats.
3. Eating Candy for Breakfast
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Some kids bragged about having candy or soda first thing in the morning. It was meant to signal freedom and parental leniency. Instead, it usually signaled a sugar crash before lunch. Teachers weren’t impressed, and most classmates were just confused. Long-term, the brag lost its appeal as everyone realized it wasn’t a healthy choice.
4. Staying Up Until Midnight
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One of the classic childhood flexes was staying awake past midnight. It made them feel like grown-ups. The next day, they looked exhausted and irritable. Nobody really envied the lack of sleep. Most kids just shrugged it off and went to bed earlier that night.
5. Knowing a “Bad Word”
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Children often acted like linguistic rebels after learning a curse word. They would whisper it, then look around for reactions. To them, it was power. To adults and even some kids, it was immature. The novelty faded quickly once they got in trouble for using it.
6. Owning a Flip Phone
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There was a time when owning any phone was a big deal. Kids with flip phones would flip them open with dramatic flair. The catch was that they couldn’t really use them for much. No data plans, limited texts, and constant parental controls. To them, it was like holding a piece of future tech.
7. Drinking Coffee Like an Adult
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Some kids would sip coffee to seem grown-up. They would force a smile through the bitterness. Often, it was more milk and sugar than coffee. They bragged about it like it meant maturity. In reality, no one believed they liked it.
8. Bringing Lunch from McDonald’s
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Fast food at school was another point of pride. Kids would show off their McNuggets like they brought gourmet cuisine. Meanwhile, others just ate their sandwiches in peace. It seemed fun until everyone got tired of the smell. By high school, fast food wasn’t impressive at all.
9. Being on Level 99 in a Game
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Reaching high levels in video games was a major flex. Kids would act like they had climbed Mount Everest. Many had simply used cheat codes or help from older siblings. Others just rolled their eyes and kept playing their own way. It never changed anyone’s social standing.
10. Owning the “Cool” Brand of Shoes
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Having the latest sneakers could turn into a full bragging session. Some kids showed off their shoes like they were sports stars. They avoided mud and puddles at all costs. The shoes didn’t improve their game, but their ego got a big boost. Eventually, the novelty wore off as trends shifted.
11. Watching a “Scary” Movie Alone
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Kids loved claiming they watched horror movies without flinching. Most of them didn’t make it through the first 20 minutes. Those who did would exaggerate how fearless they were. Many ended up sleeping with the lights on. No one really bought into the tough act.
12. Being “Related” to a Celebrity
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Some children made far-fetched claims about famous relatives. One said their cousin was in a band, another claimed their uncle was a TV star. These stories usually had no evidence to support them. Over time, the exaggerations unraveled. It became more of a running joke than a respected claim.
13. Riding in the Front Seat
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Getting to sit in the front seat of the car felt like a major life achievement. Kids would mention it at recess like it was newsworthy. Most of the time, it was because there was no one else in the car. Still, it was a favorite brag until everyone got old enough to do it. Then it lost all excitement.
14. Wearing a Cast
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Oddly enough, wearing a cast was seen as cool. Kids would sign it as if it were a yearbook. The person wearing it enjoyed the attention. However, the pain, itching, and hassle were never part of the brag. It quickly stopped being enviable once others saw the downsides.
15. Having No Bedtime
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A kid claiming to have no bedtime was usually met with a mix of awe and disbelief. It sounded like the ultimate freedom. In practice, they often just stayed up late watching boring TV. They were always tired and cranky the next day. Eventually, everyone realized sleep was not the enemy.