16 Cringeworthy Ads From Old Teen Magazines

Teen magazines from the past were known for their bold colors, wild fonts, and unforgettable advertisements. While some ads were charming and nostalgic, others now feel painfully outdated or awkward. Many pushed questionable beauty standards or leaned heavily into bizarre trends. These cringeworthy pieces of marketing history reveal how much teen culture and advertising have evolved.

1. Acne Cream That Promised Popularity

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The ad showed a sad teen transformed into a prom queen after one swipe of zit cream. Acne treatments were marketed as the key to social success, not skin health. The message was clear: clear skin meant acceptance. It reinforced unrealistic expectations for teens already insecure about their appearance. Looking back, it feels more manipulative than helpful.

2. Diet Gum That Suppressed Appetite

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One brand advertised chewing gum as a miracle weight-loss solution. The colorful ad framed it as fun, light-hearted, and teen-friendly. Yet it played into toxic dieting culture, especially for young girls. It normalized the idea that being thin should be every teen’s goal. The gum itself barely worked, but the messaging was far more harmful.

3. Perfume Ads With Creepy Taglines

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Some perfume ads used suggestive phrases like “He won’t be able to resist you.” The imagery often involved a teen girl being gazed at by older boys. These ads blurred age-appropriate boundaries and promoted objectification. Rather than empowering, they felt oddly unsettling. Today, they would likely face backlash for tone-deaf messaging.

4. Hair Color Promises That Felt Like Lies

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A few hair dye ads suggested that changing your hair color could instantly change your life. The ad might show a brunette turning blonde and suddenly becoming popular. While fun in theory, it gave off a superficial vibe. It sent the message that personality and confidence came from appearance alone. The ad overlooked individuality in favor of conformity.

5. Over-the-Top Crush Advice Products

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Products like “Crush Cards” or “Flirt Spray” claimed to help you win over your secret crush. These items were often gimmicky and based on wild promises. Teen magazines marketed them like magical tools of attraction. In hindsight, they were cringey and fed into awkward teenage fantasies. Few, if any, actually worked.

6. Tanning Oil That Ignored Skin Safety

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Ads pushed tanning oil as a ticket to “golden goddess” status. They ignored the dangers of sun exposure and offered no mention of SPF. Some even featured young teens lounging in bikinis under harsh sunlight. Health concerns were clearly overlooked in favor of appearance. Now, these ads seem careless at best.

7. Makeup Kits Promising Instant Maturity

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Certain ads sold makeup as a way to look older and more mature. They suggested that adult-like looks would bring success, romance, and popularity. Young teens were encouraged to mimic grown-up aesthetics. This pushed the idea that youth was something to escape, not embrace. It put pressure on growing up too fast.

8. Phone Chat Services for Teens

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Some ads promoted 1-800 chat lines as places to meet new teen friends. They were marketed with smiley teens and upbeat phrases like “Talk all night!” What wasn’t mentioned was the high cost or possible risks involved. The concept sounds strange and sketchy by today’s standards. It was a marketing gimmick wrapped in teenage loneliness.

9. Toothpaste Ads That Were Too Flirty

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Ads often exaggerated the connection between fresh breath and romance. One even showed a girl brushing her teeth with hearts floating around her head. The implication was that minty breath was all it took to be irresistible. It trivialized hygiene in exchange for romantic promises. Cute in concept, but definitely cringeworthy.

10. DIY Piercing and Hair Wrap Kits

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Teens were encouraged to pierce their ears or wrap their hair at home with cheap, colorful kits. These kits looked fun but were often poorly made and lacked proper safety warnings. Ads framed them as trendy and empowering. In truth, they were risky and sometimes painful experiments. Parents rarely approved, and for good reason.

11. Embarrassing T-Shirt Slogans

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Ads for graphic tees boasted slogans like “Boys are dumb — throw rocks at them.” These shirts were supposed to be funny and rebellious. Instead, they came off as mean-spirited or juvenile. Teen magazines promoted them as cool and edgy fashion statements. Most readers outgrew the humor by the next issue.

12. “Secret” Girl Products With Odd Packaging

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Some hygiene product ads tried to be discreet by using oddly shaped packaging. One deodorant ad featured a product that looked more like a perfume bottle. The goal was to make it look less embarrassing in a purse. However, the overcompensation only made it feel more awkward. It was an odd way to sell something so normal.

13. Overuse of Glitter and Neon Fonts

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These ads were often unreadable due to excessive sparkle and color. The design focused more on being “loud” than clear or effective. The overload of pinks, purples, and zig-zags created visual chaos. It was hard to tell what the product even was. Design standards were clearly not the priority.

14. Cheesy Celebrity Endorsements

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Teen stars of the time often endorsed products they likely never used. These endorsements were plastered on everything from body spray to notebooks. The actors smiled widely and delivered awkward slogans. Fans could tell it wasn’t genuine. Looking back, the endorsements feel more like forced marketing than honest promotion.

15. Workout Videos Aimed at Insecure Teens

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Some fitness videos marketed in magazines promised a “better you” in just ten minutes a day. They featured teen models in skimpy workout gear performing choreographed routines. These ads preyed on insecurities instead of promoting health. Their tone was more about fixing flaws than building confidence. Today, they read more like pressure than encouragement.

16. Weird Food Trends and Snack Ads

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Strange snacks like neon-colored pudding or extreme sour sprays were heavily pushed. The ads made them seem like must-haves for cool teens. In reality, they were barely edible and full of artificial ingredients. The marketing leaned hard into being “outrageous” for attention. Health was not a consideration, just shock value.

• Tags:
• retro
• Nostalgia
• Advertising
• Teen
• magazines