16 Psychological Tricks People Use in Arguments
People often use subtle psychological tactics in arguments to gain the upper hand or shut others down without being obvious about it.
- Sophia Zapanta
- 4 min read
Arguments aren’t always about facts or fairness. Many people use psychological tricks to control the direction of the conversation or to protect their ego. Recognizing these tactics can help you stay clear-headed and respond without being pulled into a power game.
1. Gaslighting
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This tactic makes you doubt your memory or perception. The person denies things that happened or twists them to make you feel confused. Over time, it can lower your confidence and make you question your reality. It’s not a disagreement — it’s emotional manipulation.
2. Deflection
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Instead of addressing the issue, the person changes the topic or blames something else. This keeps the spotlight off their actions. It’s often used to avoid taking responsibility. The original point gets lost, and the conversation goes nowhere.
3. Stonewalling
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This is when someone completely shuts down or refuses to engage. They might ignore you, walk away, or respond with silence. It can leave you feeling powerless and unheard. The goal is to wear you down emotionally.
4. Projection
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They accuse you of what they’re doing themselves. For example, if they’re being rude, they’ll say you’re the one being disrespectful. This confuses the argument and puts you on the defensive. It’s a way to avoid self-awareness.
5. Playing the victim
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They twist the argument to make themselves look like the one who’s hurt. This shifts the emotional tone and makes you feel guilty for speaking up. It’s often used to avoid accountability. Real problems get buried under fake hurt feelings.
6. Whataboutism
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When called out, they bring up something unrelated that you did wrong. It distracts from the issue and makes it a blame game. This avoids solving anything and turns the argument into a loop. It’s a form of denial, not discussion.
7. Overgeneralizing
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Using words like “always” or “never” adds pressure and exaggerates the problem. It turns specific issues into sweeping attacks, making people feel unfairly judged and more defensive. It’s not helpful — it’s emotional distortion.
8. Talking over you
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Interrupting or speaking louder is often used to control the flow. It can shut you down and make it hard to finish your thoughts, creating an imbalance in the conversation. It’s more about power than resolution.
9. Fake calmness
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Some people use an overly calm tone to appear in control while subtly provoking or dismissing you. This makes you look like the emotional one, even if your reaction is reasonable. It’s a tactic to take the moral high ground, but it’s often used to avoid real engagement.
10. Bringing up the past
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They dig up old mistakes to discredit your current point. This shifts attention away from the present issue. It’s meant to weaken your position by making you feel inconsistent or flawed. It’s not about growth — it’s about keeping score.
11. Sarcasm
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Using sarcasm adds a layer of disrespect while pretending it’s just a joke. It undermines the other person without directly confronting them. It’s a safe way to insult without being held accountable. The conversation turns bitter instead of honest.
12. Guilt-tripping
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They make you feel selfish, mean, or unreasonable for bringing something up. This makes you second-guess valid concerns. It’s used to stop you from standing your ground. It’s emotional pressure disguised as moral reasoning.
13. Changing the meaning of your words
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They twist what you said into something more extreme or offensive. This puts you in a position where you’re constantly explaining yourself. It’s not just a misunderstanding — it’s strategic misinterpretation. It keeps you off-balance in the conversation.
14. Creating false choices
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They present limited options, often bad ones, to push you into a corner. This limits your ability to respond fairly. It’s a subtle way to control your choices. The conversation becomes one-sided and restrictive.
15. Appealing to authority
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They cite someone else’s opinion (a parent, expert, or group) to shut you down. This takes away your right to question or discuss. It’s used to make their position seem untouchable. However, opinions, even expert ones, should be open to discussion.
16. Mocking your feelings
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They laugh at or minimize how you feel, which makes you feel weak or dramatic. This is used to shut down emotional honesty. Instead of solving the issue, it increases distance and resentment.