17 Retro Health Ads That Wouldn’t Run Today
These vintage health ads reveal a jarring mix of misinformation, sexism, and outright danger that shaped public health narratives for generations.
- Alyana Aguja
- 5 min read
Back in the day, health and beauty advertising didn’t just push products — they pushed ideologies and reinforced harmful norms. From using narcotics as medicine to selling insecurity as empowerment, the lines between care and control were often blurred. Looking back now, these ads remind us how far we’ve come in understanding ethics, science, and humanity in health.
1. “More Doctors Smoke Camels” (1940s)
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Back when white coats meant credibility, Camel ran ads claiming doctors preferred their brand over others. The campaign even featured physicians endorsing cigarettes as a “soothing” break. Today, this reads less like medical advice and more like dark irony.
2. “Tapeworm Diet Pills” (1900s–1920s)
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These ads promoted ingesting sanitized tapeworm eggs as a means to lose weight quickly, promising results without exercise. Marketed primarily to women, the ads painted parasites as glamorous shortcuts to slim waists. The risks? Often left unsaid.
3. “Blow in Her Face and She’ll Follow You Anywhere” (1960s)
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This Tipalet cigarette ad showed a man literally blowing smoke into a woman’s face as a flirtation tactic. The copy claimed the aroma would make women swoon. It reeks of sexism and the era’s obliviousness to consent and public health.
4. “Cocaine Toothache Drops” (1880s)
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Marketed for children, these soothing drops contained actual cocaine and were advertised as safe and fast-acting. Parents were encouraged to treat teething pain with narcotics. It’s an unsettling glimpse into the Wild West of pharmaceuticals.
5. “Playtex Living Bra – You Adjust It Like a Man Adjusts His Tie” (1950s)
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This ad tried to be clever by suggesting women could now dress with the same ease as men. However, it framed femininity in male-centric terms, as if bras were only validated by masculine comparison. It was less about comfort and more about conforming.
6. “Benzedrine Inhalers – For That Morning Pick-Me-Up” (1940s)
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Amphetamines were once sold over the counter for congestion, often promoted to office workers needing energy. The ads celebrated the “refreshing” rush without acknowledging the risk of addiction. It was productivity over safety, every time.
7. “Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco – So Round, So Firm, So Fully Packed” (1930s)
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Beyond the cigarette plug, this ad’s suggestive language paired with images of women was no accident. The campaign subtly equated female desirability with tobacco quality. It was as much about objectification as it was about smoking.
8. “Listerine – Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride” (1920s)
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Listerine created the concept of halitosis and shamed women into buying mouthwash by tying bad breath to spinsterhood. It wasn’t about dental health; it was about selling fear. The emotional manipulation was clinical and cruel.
9. “Obesity is an American Disease – Take Sanitized Tape-Worms!” (1920s)
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This variation of the tapeworm trend preyed on post-war body anxiety. It positioned weight loss as a patriotic duty. The parasites weren’t just tolerated, they were advertised as the solution to a moral problem.
10. “You’re Not a Woman Until You’ve Had Kotex” (1930s)
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This menstrual product ad used identity as a pressure point, suggesting that womanhood hinged on buying a brand. The emotional blackmail was wrapped in soft language. However, the message was clear: consumption equals completion.
11. “Keep That Schoolgirl Complexion – With Radioactive Face Cream” (1930s)
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Face creams with radium promised eternal youth and glowing skin. The science sounded futuristic, but the danger was lethal. Users unknowingly applied radiation daily in the name of beauty.
12. “Vivarin – Study Like a Genius, Party Like a Madman” (1980s)
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This caffeine pill ad targeted students who wanted to stay awake and be high-functioning around the clock. It glamorized overwork and no sleep as a lifestyle. Wellness was rebranded as sleepless hustle.
13. “Your Throat Thanks You – Smoke Viceroy” (1950s)
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Viceroy ads boasted filtered cigarettes as “gentle” on the throat, using soothing imagery of singing teachers and doctors. It was a classic case of harm spun as healing. The tobacco industry knew how to sell denial.
14. “The Bigger the Bust, the Better the Chances – Wate-On Weight Gain” (1960s)
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Before thinness became the ideal, there was an obsession with curves. Wate-On promised to fatten women up for desirability’s sake. It used hunger and body shape as tools for acceptance.
15. “Douching with Lysol – A Marriage Hygiene Essential” (1920s–1940s)
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Yes, that Lysol. These ads marketed disinfectant as a feminine hygiene product, implying that wives who didn’t use it risked losing their husbands. It was dangerous and degrading, all under the guise of love.
16. “Thorazine – Keep Mom Calm” (1950s)
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Antipsychotic medication was once sold with ads suggesting women could maintain domestic harmony by being medicated. The visual? A frazzled housewife finally smiling thanks to pharmaceuticals. It pathologized emotion and enforced submission.
17. “Baby Her With Whiskey – For Teething Pains” (1800s)
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Mothers were encouraged to rub whiskey on their infant’s gums for relief. The practice was so common it appeared in doctor-recommended guides. What was marketed as nurturing was, in hindsight, dangerous sedation.