17 Things Our Grandparents Said That Sound Shocking Now
Here's a list of 17 outdated sayings from our grandparents that reflect the social norms, biases, and beliefs of their time. Many of these would be considered inappropriate or even offensive today.
- Alyana Aguja
- 5 min read
This article explores 17 real phrases our grandparents often said that sound shocking in modern times. Each saying reveals how cultural values, gender roles, and social attitudes have shifted over the decades. From views on education and discipline to gender expectations and health myths, these sayings remind us how far societal thinking has evolved.
1. “You should quit school and help the family farm.”
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In the early 20th century, it was common for children, especially in rural areas, to leave school to work full-time on family farms. Education was often seen as less important than contributing to the household income. Today, the idea of pulling a child from school for farm work would be met with strong criticism and legal consequences.
2. “You can’t wear pants if you’re a girl.”
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Many grandmothers grew up in a time when girls were required to wear dresses or skirts at all times, even in school. Pants for women were considered inappropriate and “unladylike” until social norms shifted in the 1960s and 1970s. Now, suggesting such a dress code would be considered sexist and outdated.
3. “Don’t trust left-handed people.”
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Left-handedness was once stigmatized, with some schools forcing children to write with their right hand. Older generations sometimes associated it with bad luck or even moral weakness. Today, such a belief is recognized as superstition and discrimination.
4. “Children should be seen and not heard.”
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This old saying reflected the belief that children should remain quiet and out of adult conversations. Many grandparents grew up in households where speaking up was seen as disrespectful. Now, child development experts encourage open communication and self-expression from an early age.
5. “If a boy pulls your hair, it means he likes you.”
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This saying downplayed aggressive or mean behavior from boys as playful affection. It was often used to normalize teasing and avoid addressing bullying. Today, it is criticized for teaching unhealthy ideas about relationships and consent.
6. “Eat everything on your plate because children are starving in other countries.”
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While meant to encourage gratitude and reduce waste, this phrase often pressured children to overeat. It reflected a post-war era when food scarcity was a recent memory. Now, many parents focus on teaching balanced eating habits instead.
7. “Real men don’t cry.”
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Many grandparents were taught that emotional expression was a sign of weakness in men. Boys were often shamed for crying or showing vulnerability. Today, mental health advocates encourage emotional openness for everyone, regardless of gender.
8. “Smoking is good for your nerves.”
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Before the dangers of smoking were widely known, cigarette ads claimed it could relieve stress and improve mood. Some grandparents were told by doctors to smoke for relaxation. Now, smoking is recognized as a major health hazard.
9. “You don’t need sunscreen, just get a base tan.”
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Decades ago, tanning was seen as healthy, and sunburn was often ignored. People believed a “base tan” could prevent burns, not realizing it was still skin damage. Today, we know prolonged sun exposure greatly increases skin cancer risks.
10. “Marriage is the only path to happiness.”
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Many older generations saw marriage as the ultimate life goal, especially for women. Being single into adulthood was often viewed as shameful. Now, society recognizes multiple paths to fulfillment and success.
11. “You should slap a misbehaving child.”
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Corporal punishment was once widely accepted as normal discipline. Many grandparents experienced or used physical punishment at home and in schools. Today, research has shown it can cause long-term harm, and many countries have banned it in schools.
12. “Don’t marry outside your race.”
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Interracial marriage was illegal in some countries and heavily stigmatized in others until the late 20th century. Older generations sometimes repeated this rule as a matter of “tradition.” Now, it is recognized as prejudice rooted in racism.
13. “You have to join the military to be a real man.”
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For many in the early to mid-1900s, military service was seen as a rite of passage for men. Those who didn’t serve were sometimes labeled as unpatriotic or weak. Today, military service is respected but not considered a requirement for manhood.
14. “Women can’t be doctors.”
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Some grandparents grew up in a time when women were discouraged from pursuing careers in medicine and other male-dominated fields. Girls were steered toward teaching, nursing, or homemaking instead. Now, women make up a significant portion of doctors worldwide.
15. “Boys don’t cook.”
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Cooking was traditionally viewed as women’s work, and boys were often kept out of the kitchen. This belief limited men’s independence and reinforced gender stereotypes. Today, cooking is encouraged as a basic life skill for everyone.
16. “It’s rude to speak your native language in public.”
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In immigrant families, older generations were often told to speak only English outside the home. Speaking another language was sometimes seen as unpatriotic or suspicious. Now, bilingualism is celebrated as a valuable skill.
17. “You should stay with your spouse no matter what.”
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Divorce once carried heavy social stigma, and people — especially women — were pressured to remain in unhappy or even abusive marriages. The focus was on preserving appearances rather than personal well-being. Today, the emphasis is on safety, happiness, and mutual respect in relationships.