18 Things You’ll Never Hear Over a Store Intercom Again
These are funny and strange intercom announcements that stores used to say but no longer do.
- Daisy Montero
- 5 min read
Stores used to make all kinds of funny and weird announcements over the intercom. Some were about spills, lost kids, or even singing while cleaning. Today, most stores use quiet radios or text messages instead. Here are 18 things you probably will not hear in stores anymore.
1. “Cleanup in aisle four!”
cottonbro studio on Wikimedia Commons
This was the most classic line in any grocery store. Once you heard it, you knew someone had dropped a jar or spilled something messy. Now, most stores quietly handle it without saying a word over the speaker.
2. “We have a list-holding, disoriented husband in aisle twelve.”
Anna Tarazevich on Pexels
This funny announcement was often used to help lost husbands find their partners. Some even stood frozen with the grocery list in hand, unsure where to go. Stores do not make these playful announcements anymore.
3. “Attention please. Lost little boy Kevin.”
Darya Sannikova on Wikimedia Commons
Stores used to call out for missing kids by name over the intercom. It was both helpful and heartwarming when families were reunited. Today, most stores use private radio calls or alerts instead.
4. “URGENT: Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the building?”
Yan Krukau on Pexels
Tech problems used to get called out loudly over the speaker. If a register broke, they would call for the nearest tech expert right away. Now, most stores use quiet walkie-talkies or apps to solve issues.
5. “Morning, Megan. Where’s Sherman?… Clean up on aisle threeeee!”
Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels
Some store staff used to make announcements in a funny or musical way. You might even hear someone singing the message as a joke. That kind of fun rarely happens in stores today.
6. “Supermarket Self‑Service Checkout.”
Warszawska róg Szerokiej w Tomaszowie Mazowieckim, w województwie łódzkim, PL, EU on Wikimedia Commons
Stores once made loud announcements to tell shoppers that self-checkout was open. They wanted everyone to try the new system. Now, the machines sit quietly and wait for you to walk up.
7. “Hi shoppers—music set list inspired by our store tour tonight!”
Basile Morin on Wikimedia Commons
Some stores used to have in-store music events or themed playlists. They would announce them to make the shopping trip more fun. Today, most stores just play quiet background music without saying anything.
8. “Virtual Grocery Store: Scan QR code to order.”
iMin Technology on Pexels
Some stores once tried adding QR codes for people to shop with their phones. It was a short trend that never really caught on. Most shoppers still preferred grabbing items off the shelf.
9. “We’ve put GPS devices on the carts so husbands don’t get lost.”
(Rahat (Talk * Contributions)) on Wikimedia Commons
This was a joke announcement some stores used to make for laughs. It played on the idea of husbands wandering aimlessly while shopping. You do not hear fun messages like this anymore.
10. “Bluetooth beacons now guide you to your favorite snacks.”
brewbooks from near Seattle, USA on Wikimedia Commons
Stores once tried using Bluetooth signals to guide shoppers to certain items. It was high-tech but too confusing for many people. These days, stores stick to signs and friendly staff instead.
11. “My husband will pay once he covers call options in pet food aisle.”
Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels
This silly line was a made-up message about someone trading stocks while shopping. It was rare, but stores sometimes made goofy announcements like this. Now, humor over the intercom is almost gone.
12. “No data team? Call IT to improve your shopping experience.”
Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels
Some stores tried mixing tech talk into their messages to sound modern. They would mention data or IT as if it were part of the shopping trip. Today, everything tech-related stays behind the scenes.
13. “Beep! Beep! Checkout like it’s the ’20s—and no passwords needed!”
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This funny message made fun of how easy checkout used to be. It reminded people of the simple barcode days. Stores now let the machines do all the talking.
14. “All available personnel to the front!”
iram shehzad on Pexels
When lines got long, this message meant all workers had to rush up front. It kept things moving and made customers happy. Now, most stores call staff quietly through the radios.
15. “Security, scan & record all departments—now!”
Kindel Media on Pexels
This kind of message made some shoppers nervous. It usually meant something was wrong, like theft. Stores now handle security issues without saying anything out loud.
16. “Camera code announcements during theft deterrent.”
Jakub Zerdzicki on Pexels
Some stores used to scare off thieves by making security codes over the speaker. It was a clear warning that someone was watching. Today, security is more quiet and discreet.
17. “Will ____ please come to customer service for your party?”
Mikhail Nilov on Wikimedia Commons
This message made it sound like someone had a surprise waiting. It added a fun and mysterious moment to the shopping trip. Now, those little surprises are sent by phone instead.
18. “Please hold while we process your call.”
Ivan Samkov on Pexels
Stores used to play hold music over the intercom while paging someone. It was like being stuck on a phone call in real life. You rarely hear that kind of message anymore.