20 Dating Mistakes Everyone Made in Their 20s
Nobody's perfect, and that's why young adults in love are also prone to making these 20 dating mistakes.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 7 min read
Many things start to change once you hit your 20s, one of which is your dating life. During this point, you have more options and freedom to decide the direction of your relationship. However, entering a more serious relationship without guidance could end in many bitter regrets. So spare yourself from heartbreaks by learning about the 20 common dating mistakes people in their 20s tend to make.
1. Ignoring the red flags
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You may ignore the little red flags when you’re in love. You might think your partner will change or that you can fix them along the way in your relationship. This wishful thinking may get you nowhere and often ends in awful heartbreaks.
2. Moving too fast
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Thrill and excitement might influence our actions, especially in a new relationship. This may cause you to rush things between you and your partner; in return, they may feel overwhelmed by the progress. Love is usually delicate during the first stages; that’s why it must be treated with care before proceeding hastily, and that’s something many people in their 20s tend to overlook.
3. Being manipulative
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Sometimes, people aren’t aware of their manipulative tendencies, which leaves them unable to change, even for the sake of their relationship. They may constantly play the victim, gaslight you, or take advantage of your feelings just to get what they want. Just because they might be unaware of their bad habits doesn’t make them acceptable, which is why some relationships exist.
4. Not setting boundaries
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Boundaries keep relationships healthy and make your bond last long by showing how to respect each other appropriately. Without it, couples might face more misunderstandings and conflict. Many young adults fail to establish this, causing their relationships to struggle in their 20s.
5. Having unrealistic expectations
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When you’re young and still exploring life, you may develop expectations that are near impossible to achieve. This could cause your relationships to suffer from unhealthy pressure, leaving you and your partner constantly unsatisfied.
6. Lack of honesty
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Sometimes, we may hide parts of ourselves for fear of being judged or criticized; this also happens to people in their 20s looking for a relationship. They may try to find a connection in others while lying about certain things, such as their past, their insecurities, their flaws, and other things they may feel uncomfortable about sharing. But this lack of honesty is also why many relationships fail; you’re not letting anyone love you completely.
7. Neglecting your social life
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Young love can make you feel lost in each other’s worlds, causing you to forget your life. You might stop existing outside of your relationship, which could negatively affect your mental health. For example, you’ll lose your identity because you’re too focused on love, but at the same time, your relationship still won’t survive once you’ve become too dependent on each other.
8. Being too dependent
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Some people say your partner may quickly lose interest in you if you’re too available; while this might be true to some extent, many people in their 20s still can’t help but become dependent on their partner’s attention. They crave affection so much that they will drop everything to satisfy their needs. In exchange, this kind of relationship could turn toxic and fail in the long run.
9. Holding grudges
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It’s valid to feel hurt about things that happened before, but it can turn unhealthy if you hold on to grudges for too long. If your partner has done everything they can to earn your forgiveness and change for the better, you’ll eventually have to let go of your past grievances. Unfortunately, many young adults find it hard to forgive and move on for the best, causing their relationships to fail.
10. Counting favors
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Doing things for your partner out of love should be done unconditionally; when you start counting favors, you’ll build up expectations and create a standard that may only result in disappointments. While it’s okay to want to be rewarded for your sacrifices or kind deeds, pressuring your partner to return the gratitude is still unhealthy. People in their 20s may realize this only when it’s too late.
11. Poor communication
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Even in your 20s, you may struggle to communicate properly with your partner or vice versa. This means you can’t openly express your emotions, concerns, or anything else on your mind as a couple. Poor communication kills many relationships, regardless of how old you started dating.
12. Showing lack of interest
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When you’re afraid of appearing too “needy” or “clingy,” you may hold back from showing proper interest and affection. However, this is also a common mistake for people in their 20s. They tend to regret it later; they’ll regret keeping things casual or cool until the other person loses interest. Ultimately, they’ll be left with words like, “I should’ve shown how much I cared before I lost them."
13. Being stuck in the past
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Some people tend to jump into new relationships even when they’re not ready, and many people in their 20s are guilty of this. They may still have some unresolved feelings from past flings or attachments with their exes, and because of that, their new relationships often fail.
14. Compromising too much
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Sacrificing in the name of love does sound like a noble thing to do, but many young adults might recklessly do it. However, people in new relationships need to slow down before committing too much. Otherwise, they might end up sacrificing for the wrong person, which may leave them emotionally scarred for the rest of their lives.
15. Expecting your partner to fix you
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During your 20s, your life is still under colossal development progress; this means you may still have issues with yourself that you need to work on. But unfortunately, some people think finding love will somehow fix everything and make their life magical. This often ends up in heartbreaks and disappointments because love isn’t always enough to fix you if you won’t even work on fixing yourself.
16. Having too many options
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Other young adults may treat dating as if it were gambling or playing a lucky draw; they’ll seek multiple love interests without knowing what they truly want. This leaves them confused with too many options, unable to focus on the perfect partner who might have been right in front of them. Later on, they’ll realize they lost the moon while chasing stars, and they’ll be stuck with feelings of regret.
17. Erasing your identity
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You may strive to gain a perfect self-image and achieve an ideal relationship when you’re younger. Still, realistically, this will only lead to unhealthy habits that will harm you and your potential partner. That’s because you’d be setting aside your personality and changing who you are just for the sake of love. In that case, the love no longer feels authentic and may fail faster than expected.
18. Lack of effort
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Becoming too comfortable in your relationship happens quite often for young adults. They may lose the thrill once they get over the “dating” stage and stop putting in the same effort as they did initially. This inconsistency often causes relationships to die; it’s like neglecting a plant by not watering it with the right amount of care it needs.
19. Ignoring personal issues
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People in their 20s often search for an escape from their daily lives, especially if they feel unhappy or dissatisfied. This may cause them to jump recklessly from one relationship after another, often failing horribly due to something they refuse to work on. They may have unresolved personal issues such as insecurities, commitment problems, depression, and other matters that dating cannot resolve by itself.
20. Having too much pride
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It’s unsurprising for young adults to be prideful, especially in today’s modern dating scene. That’s because more people have raised their standards and want to be treated with better respect, which is a healthy practice. However, some people in their 20s might get too lost in their pride, making it hard for their partners to get along with them; thus, their relationships never work out, and they often end on bad terms, too.