20 Questions That Build Trust Faster Than 'How Was Your Day?'

Simple yet essential things to ask your partner to improve the trust in your relationship.

Cyra Sanchez
November 12, 2024
7 min read

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Some couples may think that trust builds itself naturally. But the truth is, there are also many ways to proactively improve your faith in each other besides asking your partner about their day. The more you take the time and effort to consider building your trust as a couple, the more effective your actions can be. So start asking some of these 20 trust-building questions to your partner and watch your bond grow deeper than ever.

1. “What is your love language?”

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There are five primary love languages: acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Asking your partner how they show love makes it easier to understand each other. The more you become fluent in speaking the language of each other’s heart, the deeper your trust can be.

2. “How do you want to be loved?”

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Aside from knowing how your partner expresses love, you should also know what kind of love language they want from you. Do they love receiving gifts, spending quality time together, being physically intimate, hearing reaffirming words, or being serviced? Ask them how they want to be loved, and watch your trust levels grow deeper than before.

3. “How do you handle conflict?”

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Finding out how your partner prefers to handle conflict can save both of you from many misunderstandings. Aside from making them feel safe enough to open up to you, it also promotes healthy communication in your relationship. All these qualities can strengthen your trust in each other.

4. “Do you ever need time alone?”

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Asking your partner for time alone can also make them feel understood. It means you value and respect their privacy and boundaries, even though you’re already a couple. In return, your trust can grow tenfold.

5. “What are your boundaries?”

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Finding out your partner’s boundaries will help you avoid hurting them accidentally. This can prevent any papercuts in your relationship and will tell your partner that you care about them deeply. Asking and being aware of boundaries is the first step to showing that you respect your partner and are making an effort to build trust in each other.

6. “Would you tell me your deepest thoughts?”

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Prompting your partner to talk about your deepest thoughts is an invitation to open up to each other. You can exchange topics and discuss things that have always been on their minds and how they can potentially influence them as a person or maybe even affect your relationship. This is an excellent question to ask when you both have free time to avoid cutting your conversations short.

7. “What are your goals in life?”

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While this sounds like a fundamental question, telling each other about your goals in life can do more than asking about your partner’s day. It allows you to check if your dreams are aligned and how you can work together to make those goals happen or how you can support each other in the future. These questions are stepping stones to building greater trust in any relationship.

8. “What is your decision making process?”

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Understanding how your partner makes decisions makes it easier to connect with them. You’ll avoid confusion and misunderstandings that could lead to arguments. At the same time, you can actively work together to improve your decisions as a couple, which can build your trust.

9. “What are your beliefs?”

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Knowing your partner’s values and beliefs makes it easier for you to understand each other. It also tells you whether your values align with theirs and if their beliefs match yours. The more connection you find in each other, the deeper your trust can grow.

10. “Do you have any regrets in life?”

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While this may sound like a sour topic, it’s a conversation that can help your partner open up to you even more. By finding out what haunts them occasionally, you can also devise ways to soothe their mind and lessen the burden in their hearts. This shows how much you care for them and will improve their trust.

11. “How do you apologize?”

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Not everyone apologizes the same way, and some may even struggle to find the right words to apologize, so they compensate via actions. To save your relationship from more conflict, asking your partner how they apologize is a great way to understand each other. If there is a problem with their method, you can take this as a chance to talk about improving your communication skills as a couple.

12. “How do you handle your emotions?”

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Knowing how your partner deals with their emotions can help you understand them better. The more aware you are of their habits, the smoother you can navigate your relationship. This results in lower chances of conflict, which can deepen your trust in each other in the long run.

13. “What are your expectations in this relationship?”

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Asking what your partner expects from you is a great way to address their wants and needs in a relationship. This creates clarity between you, so you don’t have to play guessing games with each other.

14. “What are your biggest fears?”

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Talking about fears is one step to overcoming them, and tackling those fears is an obstacle you might have to work on together as a couple. That’s why the sooner you discover your partner’s biggest fears, the more you can give them the love, care, and support they need to handle them. This creates solid trust in your relationship, showing your partner that you’re willing to stand by their side no matter what.

15. “What makes you feel the safest?”

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Opposite of fears, it’s also good to know what makes your partner feel safe to make them trust you even more. What calms them down when they’re panicking? What soothes their mind when they’re overthinking? Those questions help you understand your partner’s needs. The safer you feel with someone, the more you can open up to them and build a better relationship.

16. “What are your priorities?”

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Talk about your priorities in life. Do you both see a future together? Facing these scary questions and discussing them as soon as possible is an excellent way to build trust. It lets you know whether your minds and hearts are connected as they should be, leading you down a happier path in life as a couple.

17. “How do other people perceive you?”

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Talk about how other people look at your partner and discuss whether other people’s assumptions are wrong. For example, your partner can clear up misconceptions about them, such as: “People say I’m a shy person, but I’m actually a talker once we match our interests.” These things can help you better understand your partner, and you may be surprised to find out a different side to your partner, which helps you trust them more.

18. “How do you like to be comforted?”

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Some people handle sadness or negative emotions in different ways. That’s why you should know how your partner prefers to be comforted whenever they’re feeling down or right after arguing with each other. It shows that you care about their feelings and respect their boundaries, which, in return, strengthens your trust in each other.

19. “Are you satisfied with our intimacy?”

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Confirming whether your partner feels satisfied in your relationship can be scary, especially if you have anxiety, but this is an important conversation to have to check if you’re meeting each other’s needs. It is a chance to find out what you need to work on together as a couple so you can improve your bond. Once you’ve addressed this, your trust is bound to improve better than before.

20. “Are we communicating properly?”

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Sometimes, you may think your relationship is going well, only to discover that your partner doesn’t feel seen or heard. It would be best to ask this question to check whether you communicated correctly. By acknowledging that you or your partner may have something to work on together, you’ll show them they can trust you and communicate with you if something is wrong.