20 Relationship Skills That Should've Been Taught in School

Real-life relationship skills 101 - the crash course not taught in schools on everything you need to survive love--from decoding "I'm fine" to protecting your fries and keeping World War III out of your date night.

Alyana Aguja
November 13, 2024
6 min read

20 Relationship Skills That Should've Been Taught in School — Ivan Aleksic from Unsplash

This is the ultimate guide to survival skills in relationships that schools should be sure to teach: not getting into a war over fries left untouched at dinner or knowing when to put away the phone. It’s a crash course in dodging drama and avoiding arguments over who has to wash the dishes, with lessons on how to read between the lines of “I’m fine” and mastering the finer points of not double-booking date night. This is perfect for anyone trying to avoid ending up in the doghouse or becoming an accidental hostage to Netflix marathons!

Elizabeth Jamieson from Unsplash

When fries you want to keep solely for yourself suddenly become community property, it’s easy to feel under attack. The answer is learning to share graciously or how to negotiate for solo fries. Nobody wants a “hangry” partner with food trust issues.

2. Deciphering “I’m Fine”

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Spoiler: “I’m fine” doesn’t necessarily mean things are fine. This art reads facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language to decipher what’s hiding in the messages. With it, you won’t get caught in a cold war you never knew started.

3. Recalling Dates Without Reminders

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A forgotten anniversary could almost be considered a personal breach. Learn the skill of discreetly marking calendars or casually asking months ahead. Or get it tattooed somewhere—better safe than sorry!

4. Fighting Without World War III

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Conflict can be either a productive discussion or an emotional apocalypse. The trick? Focus on the issue, not personal attacks (e.g., don’t use “you never…” statements). Because relationships aren’t a boxing ring, try to keep it civil!

5. Listening (No, Like, Actually Listening)

Dennis Flinsenberg from Unsplash

Sometimes, we “listen,” only waiting for our chance to speak. Active listening is really hearing what the other person is saying, nodding occasionally, and NOT checking your phone. Believe it or not, your partner might drop key details like their dream vacation or what they want for dinner.

6. The Art of Apologizing (and Actually Meaning It)

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A genuine apology is beyond “Sorry you feel that way.” A good apology involves acknowledging your misdeed and promising not to repeat that same mistake. It keeps you out of the doghouse and reminds your partner that you are not a robot.

7. Personal Space Management

Eric Rai from Unsplash

It’s amazing how much people crave intimacy, but people need breathing room. Learn to distinguish between “I’d like a hug” and “Please let me binge my show in peace.” This skill keeps you from choking the life out of each other, literally and emotionally.

8. Picking Your Battles

Sushil Nash from Unsplash

Not everything should be the cause of an all-out argument. Determine if the topic is worth all the drama or if it’s better to let it go. Nobody wants to argue about whose turn to be the dishwasher every day.

9. Knowing When to Put Down the Phone

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Nothing says “You’re unimportant” than scrolling on your phone during a conversation. This skill is about setting aside the tech and listening to your partner. Because likes on social media can wait, love in real life should be the priority.

10. Practice Compromise Without Resentment

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Relationships are about finding common ground, but when you’re always the one who does it, then it’s an issue. This ability requires knowing how to give in sometimes and hold firm at times without keeping score. No date night goes sour faster than with a passive-aggressive “Yes; I suppose we’ll always go to your restaurant.”

11. Communicating Needs (Without Sounding Needy)

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It’s an art to convey to your partner what you need without appearing awkward or clingy: “Hey, I’d love it if you checked in a bit more.” It keeps you from resenting them for expectations they never knew existed that were unmet!

12. Knowing When They Only Need to Vent

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Not every problem needs fixing—it just needs to be heard. And this skill helps you know when to nod sympathetically and not blurt out, “Well, here’s what you should do!” Pro tip: Ask, “Are we solving or venting?"—you’ll be a hero.

13. Managing Relationship Jealousy (Like a Pro)

ThisisEngineering from Unsplash

Everyone gets jealous, but the key is handling it like an adult. It’s more about not checking their phone every time they go to the bathroom or grilling them over new Facebook friends. Remember that the goal is partnership, not surveillance.

14. How to Give Constructive Feedback

Timothy Dykes from Unsplash

Do not say, “You’re driving me crazy.” Learn how to comment on what’s driving you up the wall in a way that doesn’t throw a grenade. Pro-tip: Use “I feel” statements to avoid “You’re terrible” misunderstandings.

15. Keeping the Spark Alive (Even During Netflix Marathons)

Juraj Gabriel from Unsplash

Once you get past the honeymoon phase, it becomes easy to be couch zombies. This skill is about finding little ways to keep things fresh and flirty, like during a snack break while giving each other random compliments because nothing is as romantic as pausing Netflix and looking deep into each other’s eyes.

16. Dealing with Each Other’s Families Without Losing It

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Family gatherings can be a minefield of personalities, questions, and unsolicited advice. Learning to be polite and survive relatives’ probing questions without blowing a gasket would be best. After all, you’re in love with them, not their Aunt Linda’s loud opinions.

17. Set Boundaries Without Being a Jerk

Markus Spiske from Unsplash

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean being a 24/7 machine. This skill helps you talk to your partner in a sweet yet firm tone when you need some “me time.” Setting boundaries is the secret sauce to long-term happiness.

18. Managing Schedules and Preventing Meltdowns

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Sometimes, syncing your schedule with work, friends, and family can be like solving a Rubik’s Cube. But with teamwork and flexibility, you’ll master not double-booking. Your best friend, here is your synchronized calendar.

19. Holding It Together During Awkward Silence Without Panicking

Alex Jiang from Unsplash

Not every minute together needs to be full of profound conversation. Even if you don’t, silence can be comforting if you learn to sit with it without overthinking. Sometimes, a companionable quiet speaks to a strong relationship—besides, there is less pressure to be constantly interesting!

20. Knowing When to Laugh at Yourself

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Every couple has goofy, weird habits and, at times, horrible moments; the laughter when you trip over your words or that embarrassment that sends the embarrassing text to the wrong person–all at your expense–is immeasurable. Humor acts as glue for relationships, so don’t take life seriously and start laughing at yourself.