20 Signs You're Dating an Emotionally Intelligent Person
Different ways to tell if your partner is an emotionally intelligent person.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 7 min read
It’s shocking how emotional intelligence is such a rare things nowadays. That’s why it’s important to not take emotional intelligence for granted once you meet someone who’s willing to date you and grow with you. But how can you tell for sure if they are the kind of person who possesses emotional intelligence? Here are 20 signs that your partner is an emotionally intelligent person.
1. No emotional manipulation
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Someone who is emotionally intelligent is perfectly aware of how to manipulate someone. That means they have the choice to gaslight you or guilt trip you to manipulate your emotions to their liking. But if your partner never does this, then they’re a very rational person who doesn’t play with your emotions for fun.
2. They’re a great judge of character
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Emotional intelligence helps you read someone’s behavior or personality and understand them on a deeper level. You can tell your partner is emotionally intelligent if they can make you feel seen or understood. This means they’ll never judge you for things you would normally dislike about yourself, but instead, they put the effort to make you love yourself the way they love you.
3. They’re sensitive to your emotions
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Does your partner notice the slightest changes in your tone, body language, and mood? That’s a clear sign that they’re emotionally intelligent enough to pick up on even the subtle signs of your emotional changes. And the more aware they are of your emotions, the better they can handle you in your relationship.
4. They can manage their emotions well
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If they never lash out at you or have random emotional outbursts, that means they know how to manage their emotions well. An emotionally intelligent person would never hold you accountable for their feelings, especially when they know you haven’t done anything wrong towards them.
5. They’re highly self-conscious
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You can tell someone’s emotionally intelligent if they’re self-conscious in a healthy way. This means they’re aware of their flaws or the things they also need to work on. Someone who isn’t emotionally mature will refuse to think they have problems, and they might feel offended whenever you bring up any concerns you have with them.
6. They don’t punish themselves for mistakes
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It’s normal to feel guilty whenever we make mistakes and we might beat ourselves up over it. However, someone who’s emotionally intelligent will learn to forgive themselves in order to grow from their mistakes. This means they normally won’t punish themselves or anyone else around them simply for having flaws.
7. They know how to apologize properly
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When someone is emotionally intelligent, that means they’re capable of acknowledging their mistakes properly. They know how to have a proper discussion without turning it into an argument and they won’t play the victim at all. They’re good at taking accountability and taking action to be better.
8. They’re a great listener
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When you’re highly aware of people’s emotions around you, you become a natural listener. This means your partner pays attention to everything you say, no matter what it’s about. They can hear even the words you don’t say because they’re good at reading your emotions and they notice even when you’re secretly upset.
9. They’re very respectful
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Someone who’s emotionally intelligent will respect you no matter how long you’ve been together. They’ll always consider your boundaries and they always know how to ask for proper consent. They’ll never do things that will hurt your emotions or affect you in a negative way.
10. They’re highly empathetic
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Empaths are people with high emotional intelligence, this means they’re always aware of the emotions around them. They could sit in a room full of people and pick up the mood just by observing their surroundings and paying attention to subtle details that other people may not even notice. This makes them the kind of person who’s easy to talk to, can easily adjust to their surroundings, and knows how to understand other people, not just their loved ones.
11. They can express their emotions calmly
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Does your partner inform you whenever you do something that hurts them or potentially risks your relationship? That’s a sign that they’re an emotionally intelligent person who can express their emotions without making you feel like you’re being attacked. They can speak calmly and make you understand them without using any manipulation tactics at all.
12. Their relationship with other people is healthy
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If their social circle and relationships with other people in general seem positive, then that’s a great reflection of their character. Emotionally intelligent individuals rarely offend others thanks to their ability to understand and adjust to others. Most of the time, their only poor relationships are with people who emotionally abuse their empathy.
13. Not afraid to deal with conflict
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When you’re emotionally intelligent, you can confidently keep your emotions in check. So if your partner can deal with conflict without making things worse, that’s because they set their emotions aside and use logic that backs up their emotions instead. Thanks to that, they can resolve conflict with little to no issues and bring peace to everyone’s mind after coming to an agreement.
14. They take accountability
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Most of the time, fights happen in a relationship after someone brings up something that bothers them. However, this isn’t the case for emotionally intelligent people. When you tell them that something hurts you or makes you feel uneasy, they’re willing to take accountability and offer ways to make things better for both of you instead of making you feel bad about opening up to them.
15. Great communication skills
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Does your partner make you feel safe whenever you open up to them about anything that’s on your mind? Do they take a moment to calmly communicate with you and discuss things that are normally difficult to talk about with other people? If so, then your partner is an emotionally intelligent person who is great with communication.
16. They’re forgiving
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The more someone understands how emotions work, the better they are at forgiving someone. If your partner easily lets go of arguments and never holds grudges, that’s a clear sign that they’re emotionally intelligent. That means they won’t punish you for the past, but rather, look forward to how you’ll grow and improve yourself after they give you their forgiveness.
17. Shows genuine interest in you
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Emotionally immature people are incapable of faking their concerns, that’s why someone who’s emotionally intelligent will show nothing but pure interest in you. This means your partner is someone who pays attention to anything you do and listens to whatever you say because they want to connect with you on an emotional level. They want you to be on the same wavelength as them in order to strengthen your bond.
18. They lead a healthy individual life
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You can gauge someone’s emotional intelligence by checking on their individual life. Do they have healthy relationships with other people, like friends and family? The more emotionally intelligent someone is, the better they can lead a stable lifestyle which means they have their hobbies, goals, careers, and other interests that keep their daily lives meaningful whether they’re in a relationship or not.
19. Unconditional kindness
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If your partner does things for you or other people without expecting anything in return, then that shows how emotionally intelligent they are. When they help others or do favors without ulterior motives, it shows that they’re not a manipulative person who would hold it against you when you can’t give anything back. However, this doesn’t mean their kindness should be abused, they deserve to receive kindness in return too.
20. They’re vocal about their boundaries
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You can tell that someone is emotionally intelligent when they’re not afraid to speak about their boundaries. That’s because they’re very self-aware when it comes to their emotions, so they know their limitations too. So if your partner effectively communicates about their boundaries, know that this isn’t a red flag, but rather, a way to keep your relationship healthy by telling you the things that might harm them emotionally.