20 Signs Your Friends Are Sabotaging Your Love Life
How to tell if your friends are trying to ruin your relationship.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 9 min read
Friends are just as important as having a partner in life. But what can you do if your friends seemingly keep getting in the way of your relationship? And how can you be so sure that they’re trying to ruin your love life? Confirm your doubts by reading the top 20 alarming signs your friends might be sabotaging your love life.
1. They make fun of you with other people
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When your friends don’t respect your relationship, they’ll openly talk about matching you with other people. “Hey, I think that person’s crushing on you,” or “Go ask them out, ask for their number,” even though your friends know you’re in a relationship. This is their way of showing that they want you to be with someone else, even if it means encouraging you to cheat, which is a very toxic behavior that you shouldn’t tolerate at all.
2. They disrespect your partner
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Your friends may discreetly disrespect your partner by giving backhanded compliments or asking why you are even dating your partner when you can pull someone better. Those are insulting comments to make about your friend’s partner because it also means they’re disrespecting your choice in love.
3. They joke about cheating
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If they treat cheating like it’s a regular thing, they’re bound to encourage you to do the same thing. This means they’re openly sabotaging your relationship with your partner despite knowing how unforgivable cheating is.
4. They can’t keep secrets
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Have you ever experienced opening up to your friends about an issue in your relationship because you needed some advice but later found out they told other people about your situation? This means they’re actively making the problem bigger by dragging more people into your business, proving that they can’t be trusted with your relationship. If your partner also finds out about this, there’s a high chance you might end up arguing about it for not keeping your issues between you and your partner only.
5. They’re making fun of your relationship
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Sometimes, there are friends whose love language is to make fun of you in a lighthearted way. But it’s a different matter when it comes to mocking your relationship, like telling you that your relationship isn’t last, or you’re not a good fit for each other, or saying that your partner is a fool to date you, and stuff like that. Those things are apparent mockery you shouldn’t tolerate because it keeps them comfortable in insulting you and your partner, which can later ruin your relationship for good; you must stand up for it.
6. They don’t invite your partner to gatherings
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“Come and join us, but don’t bring your partner,” does that sound familiar to you? If they often exclude your partner at gatherings, you should already take the hint that they disapprove of your relationship and that they’re not trying to hide it at all. This could leave your partner feeling insulted, which may dent your relationship if you don’t address this behavior from your friends.
7. They gossip about your relationship
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Behind your back, your friends may talk about your relationship negatively, treating it as entertainment instead of respecting you and your partner like friends should do. How can you trust them to support your relationship if they talk a lot without your knowledge? Friends who gossip behind your back aren’t your friends, and it’s time to find a healthier social circle.
8. They encourage you to lie to your partner
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“Your partner doesn’t have to know” - this is a common thing many toxic friends will tell you when they’re pressuring you to lie to your partner. To them, it’s just a harmless little lie, but to you and your partner, your relationship’s trust is at risk. If your friends can’t understand this, you have to stay away from them since they’re doing nothing but negatively influencing you.
9. They ignore your partner’s presence
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Whenever you meet your friends while you’re with your partner, your friends may treat your partner as if they were invisible. For example, they’ll only wave at you, hug you, or say hi without even glancing at your partner. This shows how little respect they have for your partner, and they’re intentionally making your partner feel isolated, probably to make your partner doubt your relationship.
10. They question your decisions as a couple
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When you successfully decide on things related to plans with your partner, you may feel excited to share the joyous news with your social circle. Most friends would happily support and encourage you about your decisions, but some may purposely undermine you by creating more doubts than necessary. For example, they may say negative things to put your relationship down by claiming your plan would fail or your chances at success are meager.
11. They ignore your boundaries
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Your closest friends may pick up on your boundaries as a couple as they get to know both of you over time. But if they’re aware of your limitations as a couple, and yet your friends still want to break them, it shows they have no respect for your relationship. This may push you to make choices that could end up hurting yourself, your friends, or worse, your partner, too, and that’s why this toxic behavior must not be tolerated.
12. They’re judgmental about your partner
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True friends won’t judge you for who you are or your background in life, but if your friends show this behavior towards your partner, it only means they’re not open-minded enough to accept your relationship. They may say things behind your partner’s back and question your choices when choosing a partner, making your partner feel insecure once they find out about this. That’s why no matter how close your friendship is, you should still defend your partner from judgmental people.
13. They keep comparing your partner with your ex
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If your friends know about your past relationships, they may keep comparing your experience with your ex with your current partner, and this can be a very toxic habit for all parties involved. First, they’re dragging someone from your past to sabotage your current relationship, and second, they’re proving that they’re the ones who can’t move and are stuck in the past. These are the types of people you can’t keep in your life because they’ll only keep holding you back from growing due to their unhealthy habits.
14. They try to flirt with your partner
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Some “friends” may try to sabotage your relationship simply because they’re jealous and want to steal your partner for themselves. You’ll notice this if they show interest in your partner in a romantic sense by complimenting them flirtatiously or constantly trying to get close to them whenever possible. Other than making your partner uncomfortable, that friend shows that they’re not your friend.
15. They intentionally bring up your ex
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Suppose your friends keep bringing up your ex while your partner is around. In that case, it shows they’re directly attacking your partner’s insecurities by testing how they’ll react to mentioning your past relationship. This can create doubts in your partner’s mind, which may lead to misunderstandings that you’d want to avoid. Before your relationship gets poisoned by your toxic friends who weaponize their knowledge of your past relationships, it’s time to avoid those friends for the sake of your partner’s peace.
16. They compete for your time and attention
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“You never hang out with us anymore; you’re always with your new lover,” - is this another familiar line to you? Toxic friends would say this as if trying to compete with your partner for your time and attention. While it’s also harmful to neglect your friends because of a new relationship, your friends must also give you time to adjust and balance out your time for friends and your lover instead of pressuring you to hang out with them as if you have a full-time commitment to them.
17. They pressure you to stay away from home
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Whenever you hang out with your friends, they may tell you to stick around longer despite knowing your partner is waiting for you to safely come home or inform them that you’re back in your house. This is another sign of disrespect that no one should tolerate. After all, if you worry about your partner while breaking promises with them because your friends pressured you, things could turn horrible and end in a nasty argument with your partner.
18. They’re always one-sided
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It’s normal to rant to your friends when your relationship problems are too much to handle alone. But if your friends often take only your side without considering your partner’s point of view, it shows that they’re biased and don’t honestly care about your growth in case you might have made your own mistakes. True friends will call you out on your flaws to help you fix your relationship instead of supporting your wrongdoings.
19. They make you ignore your relationship problems
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“Stop worrying about your partner and just party with us instead,” is another common line from friends who want to dismiss your relationship troubles. They encourage you to show less care about your partner and shift your focus onto something else. This could further worsen the problem because you’re simply avoiding it instead of working on it. At the same time, it can give your partner the impression that you’d rather spend time with your friends than prioritize solving your problems together.
20. They sabotage your plans
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When you make plans with your partner, do you sometimes announce it to your friends? For example, you tell your friends you’re leaving on a trip soon, but somehow, your friend finds a way to ask you to cancel the plan for various reasons. This shows how selfish they can be; all they want is to get something out of you, even if it means sabotaging your plans and relationship.