20 Toxic Patterns You'll Break When You Start Loving Yourself
Discover the best ways to set yourself free from toxic patterns by loving yourself. Here are 20 toxic patterns you'll break when you start loving yourself.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 7 min read
Self-love is essential to keep a healthy relationship with everyone around you. Without you, you’ll be prone to attracting people who may exploit your lack of love. This is how you’ll end up feeling alone, becoming abused, or simply unhappy due to not loving yourself. That’s why you should start practicing self-love and set yourself free from these 20 toxic patterns.
1. Having better communication
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When you learn to love yourself, you’ll also learn to say “No.” This means you can now vocalize your concerns and stop trying to please everyone just for “peace.” By loving yourself, you’ll start standing up for yourself, too; thus, you’ll have more confidence in speaking up and communicating with your loved ones.
2. Setting proper boundaries
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Loving yourself also means protecting your peace. That’s how you can break the toxic pattern of letting people abuse you and walk over your feelings. The first step to showing that you love yourself is establishing clear boundaries. If the other person can’t respect those, you’ll also now have the strength to walk away knowing that you deserve to be treated with respect.
3. No more running away from conflict
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When you love someone, you want to fix things before you lose them. However, conflict can be terrifying, especially if you have many insecurities that may hold you back from speaking up. Self-love can also save you from that.
4. You can prevent misunderstandings
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As you stop avoiding conflict and practice better communication, you’ll also prevent many misunderstandings. Not only is this good for your mental health, but it’s also helpful in keeping your relationship strong.
5. Letting go of grudges
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By loving yourself, you’ll learn to release emotional baggage that may hold you back. This includes moving on from the past and releasing past resentments. As difficult as it sounds, you do this out of love for yourself, not because you accept the wrong deeds someone did to you.
6. Improving your self-esteem
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Self-love teaches you that you’re beautiful in your own way, which can help improve your self-esteem. With your newfound confidence, you’ll prevent feeling insecure or doubting your partner’s affection for you. It will save both of you from recurring arguments, freeing you from a toxic pattern.
7. Learning to be independent
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The absence of self-love may make you too dependent on someone else. Your feelings, habits, lifestyle, time, and everything else will depend on your partner, which can be overwhelming even for someone who loves you. By loving yourself, you’ll find the will to regain your independence; your relationship can grow and breathe freely in exchange.
8. Regaining your identity
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When you don’t love yourself enough, you’ll quickly lose yourself in someone else. Your world will revolve around them, and you’ll stop existing outside of this relationship, which is toxic for both of you. By loving yourself again, you’ll have the chance to be who you are once more; you can get in touch with your individuality and save your relationship from getting lost.
9. Having better priorities
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Loving yourself means you’ll have better standards not just for love but also for life in general. That’s why you’ll stop waiting until life gets better. Instead, you’ll start taking the steps to move forward. Knowing your priorities and having the love to support yourself, your life will leave behind the toxic patterns you once knew.
10. Creating a safe space for yourself
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Self-love encourages you to find peace. This isn’t limited to your relationship, but it’s also about having a safe space for yourself. From now on, you’ll start building your inner sanctuary, a place you can quietly retreat to when things are getting too complicated, where no one else can hurt you, and allow you to rest when you need a break from the world.
11. Reconnecting with loved ones
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When you’re in a negative state, you may forget to reach out to other people in your life. You may have neglected your friends and family, feeling like you’re alone with no one else to care about you. But as you start loving yourself again, you’ll start seeing the people who were once invisible to you—you’ll begin noticing the way they care for you, which can help you remember how worthy you are of love.
12. Your needs won’t be neglected anymore
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By loving yourself, you’ll no longer put your needs aside. With this mindset, you won’t tolerate being treated poorly or disrespected, and you won’t allow others to set you aside for their selfish desires. This time, you’ll have the strength to protect your happiness and prioritize taking care of yourself.
13. Getting out of abusive relationships
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Sometimes, all you need is the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship, but that’s difficult to achieve when you lack self-love. That’s why you need to work on preserving your identity and ask yourself: Do you deserve to be treated badly? Of course, no one deserves to be abused, and it’s time for you to set yourself free.
14. Learning how to forgive yourself
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A person who loves themselves will not punish themselves for their flaws; instead, they will work on growing into a better person. Not only will this release a heavy burden on your relationship, but you’ll also find peace in letting go of your guilt. It’s not about the mistakes you make; it’s about what you do about them that proves your growth.
15. Rebuilding trust with your loved ones
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It’s hard to rebuild trust once it’s damaged, but it’s not impossible to keep trying. By loving yourself, you’ll learn to open up again, letting go of past resentments as you embrace the better tomorrow. Only this time, you’ll be wiser and more careful than ever.
16. Avoiding arguments caused by jealousy
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Self-love will remind you of your worth, helping you overcome common insecurities that may spark jealousy. This will also avoid recurring arguments related to trust issues and feeling threatened in your relationship. After all, what’s there to worry about when you have yourself to support you, too?
17. No more isolation
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Lack of self-love will push people into isolation; sometimes, they’ll even take their partners away. This toxic isolation habit does nothing but harm for most people involved. That’s why loving yourself is essential to avoid trapping yourself in a box of negativity.
18. Picking up healthier coping habits
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Self-love will encourage you to seek better coping habits rather than isolation. For example, you can adequately ask your partner to give you time alone, relax in nature, clear your mind by indulging in friendly hobbies, and seek comfort from friends or family. These are just examples of alternatives you can try. Either way, loving yourself will stop you from self-destructive tendencies so you can finally say goodbye to those toxic patterns.
19. Learning to be okay with imperfection
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Love isn’t perfect; it has many things that make it hurt and complicated, so if love is also flawed, loving yourself means you’ll learn to love your flaws, too. This will set you free from putting too much pressure on yourself and help you overcome unrealistic standards that can make you or your relationship suffer. Remember that it’s okay to be imperfect as long as you do your best to improve things.
20. Finding peace in your mind and heart
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By learning to love yourself, you’ll stop wasting your time and energy on things that only invite negativity and conflict into your life. In exchange, you’ll finally have peace in your mind and heart, allowing you to flourish again. This refreshing feeling is similar to finding the light at the end of a dark tunnel.