20 Uncomfortable Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have
The most difficult conversations that couples face that will ultimately strengthen their bond.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 7 min read
We tend to avoid discussions that may force us to face our fears or step out of our comfort zone. But the harder the conversation is, the more it can possibly improve your relationship once you both overcome it. So if you want to make sure your relationship can survive any future struggles, it’s time to sit down and have one of these 20 uncomfortable conversations with your partner.
1. Finances
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Money can ruin a lot of relationships, especially for couples. So if you’re planning to stay together for good, you’ll eventually have to talk about managing your finances. Who will be the main provider or who will be the one to hold on to the budget, those are examples of questions you both need to discuss to keep things fair as a couple.
2. Jealousy
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Every couple needs to address their limitations when it comes to jealousy. Some partners are easily jealous while some are not, this is something you both have to work on as a couple. The sooner this is discussed, the more you can prevent future misunderstandings.
3. Personal boundaries
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Everyone has different personal boundaries. For example, some people may need time alone to focus on their work or other activities. This might make you feel like you’re being pushed away if your partner never told you about this pattern. So, to avoid misunderstandings, be honest with each other’s boundaries right away.
4. Insecurities
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Nobody’s perfect and that’s why most people are bound to have insecurities, whether it’s obvious or not. Some people are just better when it comes to managing their self-esteem, but over time, they could end up falling apart. To prevent this, couples need to be open about each other’s insecurities so they can work on it together in a healthy way.
5. Priorities
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No matter what kind of relationship you have, whether it’s casual or serious, knowing each other’s priorities is a must. With this, you’ll find out if you’re on the same page or not. It’s a healthy way to determine if your priorities align with each other which can help your relationship last longer.
6. Starting a family
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Before you take your relationship to the next level, it’s also important to discuss your future together. This includes talking about the possibility of starting a family together and how many kids you both would want. Both of you can save each other’s time if you’re upfront about your future plans.
7. Religion or other beliefs
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For some people, their religion and other sensitive beliefs heavily influence their overall lifestyle. This is something that can affect your relationship as well and that’s why you need to find out whether you agree with each other’s beliefs. A relationship is bound to suffer if your beliefs clash with each other, so the sooner you talk about this, the better.
8. Communication needs
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Some people claim to be “low maintenance” while others admit they are clingy or needy. Depending on your partner, your relationship’s communication needs may vary and that’s why you must know each other’s expectations. This way, you can prevent disappointments or unknowingly drifting away from each other.
9. Physical intimacy
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As lovers, most partners may expect that it’s okay to be clingy or touchy all the time. But surprisingly enough, some individuals may need a break from kissing or cuddling from time to time. If you or your partner can relate to this, then it’s important to let them know about your tolerance for clinginess or physical intimacy.
10. Biggest fears
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One way to truly get to know someone on a deeper level is to find out their biggest fears. As couples, both of you should trust each other enough to confess the things that scare you the most. With this, you can overcome your fears together and potentially strengthen your relationship.
11. Concerns about family or relatives
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There are relationships where your family members or relatives get too involved and to some partners, this isn’t a problem at all. But there’s also a chance for your partner to feel uncomfortable about other people interfering with your relationship. That’s why you need to talk about the involvement of family members in your love life to set proper boundaries for the sake of everyone involved.
12. Handling conflicts
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Every couple needs to know how you both handle conflict, for example: do they confront it head-on, do they tell their friends about it, or do they isolate and run away? Depending on each other’s communication skills and emotional intelligence, the answers may vary. So, to avoid making things worse, you both have to set an agreement on how you want conflicts to be addressed.
13. Bad habits
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It’s not unusual to pick up some bad habits along the way and it could be something health-related such as drinking alcohol or smoking, or it can also be about having poor communication skills. These habits may vary depending on your partner, but both of you must be honest about those habits too. To avoid conflict in your relationship, facing these bad habits as soon as possible is a must.
14. Shared goals
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To find out if your relationship will last long, you need to know whether your goals align with each other or not. As scary as it sounds, this is a necessary step before you can take your relationship to the next level. After all, isn’t it hard to spend the rest of your life with someone who might just end up holding you back from your dreams?
15. Future plans
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Aside from having shared goals, you also need to discuss each other’s future plans. For example, do you plan to get married soon and is your partner ready to accept that? Change can be hard to avoid and that’s why being aware of each other’s plans in the future is necessary to prepare your relationship for any struggles.
16. Intimacy boundaries
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Being intimate with your partner requires more effort than just making each other feel good. You have to understand the do’s and dont’s, what they’re comfortable with or not. This way, you’ll both know how to satisfy each other’s needs without unintentionally violating each other’s boundaries.
17. Changes in the relationship
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As you spend more time together, you may notice that things are slowly changing between you and your partner and this is a common thing in any relationship. But if those changes are something that bother you, then it’s important to bring it up and have a peaceful discussion about it. Otherwise, you might end up overlooking some warning signs that could harm your relationship in the long run.
18. How you plan to settle down
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Each person may have different standards before deciding that it’s time for them to settle down. For example, you may want to move to another place and live with your partner there, but your partner may not agree with your plans at all. Before you make a decision, make sure you discuss everything with your partner first to avoid making each other feel unhappy in the relationship.
19. Assigning roles
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If you’re planning to live together soon, you and your partner may want to talk about assigning roles. Of course, not everyone has to stick to the traditional gender roles because that’s no longer the norm in modern dating. Depending on your agreement, you can decide who will be the main provider, who handles the chores or grocery budget, whether you’ll take turns throwing out the trash, and all those little things that can effect your life as a couple.
20. Expectations for each other
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It’s normal to have expectations for your partner, whether those expectations are too much or not, it’s up to both of you to decide. And that’s why it’s important to be transparent about what you want from them so you can both adjust and satisfy each other’s expectations. Otherwise, you’ll end up trying to read each other’s minds and unknowingly disappoint each other.