20 Ways to Stay True to Yourself While Dating
How to stay in touch with your individuality while keeping balance in your love life.
- Cyra Sanchez
- 8 min read
It’s common for lovers to lose themselves in the name of love. This means their whole world will revolve around romance alone and they may end up neglecting their identities. Unfortunately, this rarely ends on a positive note and that’s why it should be avoided as much as possible. That’s why you should learn about these 20 effective ways to stay true to yourself while dating.
1. Stay in touch with your friends
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One of the most significant ways to maintain your identity while dating is by staying in touch with your friends. Being connected to your inner circle can keep you grounded in the reality that you still have a life of your own, outside of your relationship, that you can enjoy without fearing losing your relationship. A partner who loves and respects you will understand your need to have a social life to maintain a healthy balance in your love life.
2. Don’t lose time for your hobbies
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Your hobbies are a part of your identity, and most of the time, you had those hobbies before you met your partner, too. Losing time and interest in your hobbies is a sign of losing yourself, and it can lead to unhealthy side effects such as feeling down or incomplete. This can negatively affect your relationship, too, so start picking up your hobbies again when you have the chance.
3. Establish clear boundaries
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To avoid losing yourself while dating, you should set clear boundaries for the sake of your relationship. This keeps you both grounded in a way you won’t end up disrespecting each other, too. Be vocal about your boundaries; as long as they’re reasonable, you’ll find it easier to stay connected with yourself while balancing your love life.
4. Spend time alone
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While spending quality time with your partner all the time sounds dreamy, it can suffocate in the long run, and you may feel like your worlds depend on each other too much. That’s why it’s essential to always have time for yourself, do activities alone, and sit silently while enjoying your company. Solitude is also needed for a healthy, balanced relationship.
5. Don’t say yes to everything
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You may want to keep your partner happy and satisfied, so you may say yes to anything they desire. However, this can make you neglect your needs and cast aside your well-being to please your partner. That’s why you have to learn how to stand your ground and learn to say “no” without having to argue with each other.
6. Avoid hiding your quirks
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You may shy away from your partner by hiding your quirks that other people may find weird. But as long as you’re not doing anything wrong, there’s no harm in showing your weird side to your partner. Someone who truly loves you will not judge you or make you feel bad for being the way you are; that’s why you should learn to embrace yourself and be proud of it enough to be true to yourself in front of your partner.
7. Be firm with your beliefs
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Do you find yourself easily changing your opinions, values, and beliefs just to avoid conflict? This can be an unhealthy habit caused by the tendency to please others and neglect your individuality. Unless the other person has truly convinced you to change your mind, you should be firm with your beliefs in life to keep in touch with your authentic self even while in a relationship.
8. Don’t neglect yourself
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Do you forget to take care of yourself, like no longer following your morning exercise routine or nightly beauty rituals, for example? These are signs of self-neglect and a reason why you can’t be yourself in a relationship. While dating, you may shift your focus on your partner alone, but this may cause you to change in a bad way that could hurt yourself and your dating life as well.
9. Avoid comparisons
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While healthy competition is nice for inspiring each other in a relationship, constantly comparing yourself to your partner is an unhealthy habit. This makes you lose value in yourself, which may strip you of your identity. If you have self-esteem issues, it’s best to work on them together with your partner instead of putting yourself down by comparing yourself to them or even with other people.
10. Don’t change recklessly for the sake of love
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You may need to constantly change who you are to date the person you love. However, this may leave you feeling empty since you’re no longer the same person who fell in love with your partner. It can also affect your relationship in the long run because you’ll seem like a stranger to them, so unless it’s for a good reason, don’t change yourself carelessly and put value in your identity, too.
11. Never hide your interests
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Be proud of the things that you’re interested in, no matter how unique or special they can be. If you’re not doing anything illegal or dangerous that could harm others or yourself, it’s completely safe to be open about it with your partner. They might also be into the same things, and you’ll find something new to connect with your partner.
12. Don’t be afraid to share your life goals
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Don’t lose sight of your personal goals just because you’re now in a relationship; sometimes, you don’t always have to sacrifice your dreams to make way for your love life. Start by talking to your partner about your goals in life, and you might be surprised to hear them supporting you, or they may even share some similar goals in mind. All that matters is you can express your identity by holding on to your dreams for the future.
13. Be brave enough to handle conflict
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One way to lose your identity in a relationship is to run away or avoid conflicts. To keep in touch with yourself, you must stand up and face your partner in case of disagreements. Start by learning how to communicate appropriately to discuss the problem calmly. This also shows your partner that you respect your relationship and yourself.
14. Balance your priorities
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It seems like a sweet, romantic gesture to always put your relationship above anything else, but this could be detrimental to your mental health in the long run. That’s because you may forget to take care of yourself and enjoy your life outside of your relationship. Thus, it would be best if you learned to balance your priorities to keep things healthy and less suffocating between you and your partner.
15. Be straightforward about your needs
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Sometimes, we may feel afraid to come off as too needy or demanding in front of our partners, so we may hold back from expressing our own needs. However, this may result in casting yourself aside and slowly losing your identity in your relationship. Don’t forget to have good standards and hold on to them so your partner can take care of you properly.
16. Practice healthy communication
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Without proper communication, you may end up feeling unseen or unheard. This may cause you to self-isolate even more because you believe no one will listen, not even your partner. To avoid this, it’s best to practice healthy communication with your partner whenever there’s a chance for it. Otherwise, you’ll lose who you are while you sit in silence and bottle up your emotions.
17. Discover something new on your own
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It’s always fun to discover new things on your own, such as learning new skills or picking up a new hobby. Of course, you don’t have to hide this from your partner or keep it a secret from anyone. Just think that this is a way to reconnect yourself, if you need to bond with your partner then you also have to bond with yourself once in a while.
18. Learn to value yourself
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Self-love is an essential recipe for keeping your identity in a relationship. Not only does it benefit your life as a couple, but it also improves your overall individuality. So take time to reflect on yourself, who you are, what you want in life, what your strengths are, what makes you stand out and unique in the eyes of other people, and all those little questions that can remind you that you’re essential whether you’re in a relationship or not.
19. Have your own safe space
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Having a space to retreat is essential, especially if you need time to be alone after a disagreement with your partner or such. This could be anything, like your trusted friends, a room you can have to yourself, a game that gives you comfort, a song that makes you feel calm, or anything else that can stop you from collapsing in your identity.
20. Take a break when necessary
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Some people in relationships keep trying and pushing even when they barely have any strength left. This could leave you feeling drained and losing parts of yourself that you might find hard to recover once again. That’s why it’s important to take breaks when things are becoming too much. Tell your partner you need some time alone before you can go on and avoid making things worse for both of you.